How the birthday went down

After waking at 3.30am on my birthday feeling grim due to my ear infection, I called in sick to my contracting job, cancelled lunch with my friend Alice and got DD to drive me to the hospital.

It turned out to be the perfect time to be in the emergency department, as it was pretty much empty. A nice young doctor eventually examined me and said my ear was so full of … erm … sorry … pus … that it was difficult to see what was going on, but my eardrum appeared to be perforated. That explains why I’m completely deaf – the doctor clicked her fingers beside my left ear and I heard zilch.

And there’s nothing the hospital can do about it. I just have to be patient and my hearing should return in a few weeks. I felt like such a nong to have dragged DD from home and bothered the hospital for no reason.

I also started to feel slightly better, so the antibiotics are beginning to slowly work. DD took me for a coffee and a slice of toasted paleo loaf to celebrate, then dropped me home and hooned off to do some business calls.

I prepared my final wee sample for the doctor then retired to the couch to watch a few episodes of The Crown, which has had some real life competition in recent weeks due to the Harry and Meghan tell all. Even DD wanted to know my thoughts on the scandal as we had coffee. I expressed my concern that Harry had burnt his bridges with his dad and brother. I’m not sure how he thought any good would come from an Oprah Winfrey tell all. But poor Harry is very damaged by what happened to his mum, as The Crown so harrowingly details.

DD, bless him, returned at 6pm to go to dinner with me and the kids at a trendy/noisy burger place called Milky Lane. I wasn’t feeling too crash hot but the table was already booked and I figured people had to eat. It was a bit intense for someone with nausea issues who’s currently half deaf, but wine helped.

I’d been intending to have one of their extravagant cocktails and photograph it for my Drinks Digest Insta feed, but my stomach said noooooooooo.

It also wasn’t up for a deep-fried Golden Gaytime for dessert. But I managed to stay pretty chirpy for an hour due to a combination of Nurofen, antibiotics and pink wine.

Afterwards, DD came over to my place to swab my infected ear, put some drops in while I lay on the bed and stroke my hair as I had a little pity weep, so it really must be love.

The hospital said I’m not allowed to go swimming until the infection clears up, which is VERY upsetting. I need to be in the ocean, I will go a bit mad without it.

Thank you to everyone who sent lovely birthday messages. It was very kind of you. The kids gave me a fancy four-slice toaster that the youngest sent my ex off to procure. I think he was a bit gob-smacked by the price tag. And I requested a drinks trolley from Domayne from my family, which I’m looking forward to receiving next time I’m in Newcastle.

I think I’m feeling a bit better this morning – my ear isn’t as sore – so hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to work I go. OK, I’d better hop to it, catch you tomorrow.

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