It’s terribly retro of me, but the only radio station I listen to these days is WSFM. It plays lots of 80s and 90s hits, with a Fleetwood Mac track at least once an hour. It’s just my speed.
WSFM also regularly plays a song by Pink called “Who Knew?”.
It has always unsettled me slightly. Have I told you about this?
It has this bit where she sings:
If someone said three years from now
You’d be long gone
I’d stand up and punch them out
‘Cause they’re all wrong
I know better
‘Cause you said forever
It unsettled me deeply after my husband left because I’d hear the words and think yes, who knew?
Three years earlier, I was recovering from a chronic illness and a terrible workplace bullying experience that ended my magazine career. I was having heart palpitations, my four-year-old was battling debilitating phobias and my marriage was miserable … it was quite the shite sandwich.
But leaving my husband seemed unthinkable after all we’d been through in our 24 years together.
I thought we were forever, despite our marriage feeling like something to be endured towards the end.
Coming to terms with us not being forever was pretty confronting. That hurt more than the chronic illness and the bullying combined. I’d get emotional in the car every time I heard Pink sing.
Anyways, that’s a long-winded explanation of why I’m sharing this meme that popped up in my Facebook feed from a fellow ex-Kotara High student who follows my blog called Geoff.
Nup, I would never have guessed in 2015 that in 2020 I’d find myself in the middle of a global pandemic in a country that has closed everything from its borders to its bars.
What my blog and the meme and the pandemic tell me is that you should never take anything for granted. Not love, not lifestyle, not health.
I’ve written many a post about regret – type “regret” in the search bar on the homepage of the blog and prepare to be inundated.
I’ve been trying to put regret behind me in recent years – cherish the stuff that’s important and try not to dwell on the stuff that’s not. I fail at it frequently, but I have the best intentions.
One blog post I wrote about it waaaaay back in 2012 included these quotes:
“What’s done is done.” William Shakespeare
“Every second that you live you are never going to get back. You are never going to get to change what you said, didn’t say, did, or didn’t do. Live how you want to live. Act how you want to be remembered, because you never know how long or short you are going to be here.” Emily Doberstein
“We all do things we desperately wish we could undo. Those regrets just become part of who we are, along with everything else. To spend time trying to change that, well, it’s like chasing clouds.” Libba Bray
“Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.” Arthur Miller
“My dad used to say that living with regrets was like driving a car that only moved in reverse.” Jodi Picoult
I hope when the pandemic is over and the world gets into the groove of its new normal that I move forward in my journey out of the pointless tunnel that is regret. I want to make the most of every moment.
In the meantime, I’m just hoping for the new normal to hurry up and arrive so we can get on with it.
As for three years from now … I’m not making any predictions about THAT. I mean, blimey, real life is proving to be far wilder than the most out-there fantasy plot line.
Song of the day: Pink “Who knew?”