Hearts and follicles

I forgot to tell you the whole story about my recent doctor’s visit: I also had a blood test to check whether I was menopausal.

And I’m not.

My doctor ran through my results on Tuesday. I like to keep him on his toes – I also got him to syringe my left ear. He said UK people are quite startled when they visit Aussie doctors and can ask for multiple things in one appointment, as the NHS limits them to one ailment per visit.

Bugger that, I make sure I’ve got a value-packed list.

Anyways, when a woman’s FSH blood level (follicle-stimulating hormone) is consistently elevated to 30 mIU/mL or higher, and she has not had a menstrual period for a year, it is generally accepted that she has reached menopause … according to www.menopause.org

Mine was only 23. Although Dr Google also tells me that FSH levels can be very high one day and very low the next day during the “menopausal transition”.

I wonder if that means I’m still ovulating?

When I told the woman who did my mammogram that I had a sore boob, she asked if I could be pregnant. That made me laugh and laugh and laugh … before I started wincing with pain from the metal vice thingy.

Is this too much information? It’s probably too much information.

But like I always say, I think it’s a bit mad that women don’t talk about this sort of thing when it eventually affects us all … and those around us …

When I told DD I wasn’t menopausal he said: “Ah – so you’re just cranky?”

He’s a brave man.

My FSH levels indicate my hormones are quite elevated, so I’m well on my way, which probably explains the crankiness.

I’m particularly unpleasant when I’m hangry. DD chopped up the rusty old trampoline in my backyard with an electric saw over the weekend, plus removed lots of dated lattice from the front fence and verandah and I went completely spare when he was still diligently dismantling at 2pm.

We were meant to be having curry and roti afterwards and I was STARVING. I kept begging him with increasing urgency to finish chopping up the trampoline another day, but he’s the type who prefers to complete jobs he starts.

My behaviour may have been a little ungracious. I may feel slightly chastened by my ungracious behaviour.

I was much more cheerful after I got some lamb curry into me.

Anyways, the blood test was part of the battery of checks I had to avoid dying in the shower in my fifties from a heart attack like my aunt did.

The doctor reckons he put all my stats into his “will she have a heart attack?” calculator and it came back with a 1% risk factor.

I exercise regularly. I don’t smoke.

My cholesterol is slightly elevated from when it was tested two years ago, but not by much. And my “good” cholesterol reading is high.

Not to mention that I have very low blood pressure.

You may recall how it resulted in a cardiologist being hauled out of bed at 1am when I was recovering from a surgical procedure in hospital a few years ago. (See My ‘abnormal cardio event’)

Fun times.

And I still have menopause to go through.

Lucky DD!

Song of the day: Oasis “Don’t look back in anger”