Well that’s embarrassing

There’s something I want to talk to you about, but I’m not ready yet. I need to mull it over for a little longer. It’s been bugging me for a while, but it’s not something you just blurt out.

So I’ll stick to my embarrassing trip to the ENT instead, as I’m sure you’re dying to know how it went.

It was an unusual visit to a specialist. There was no one in the waiting room, despite it being the office of about five ENTs. And it was lunchtime too, you’d think that would be peak time.

I normally wait FOREVER to get into my GP, but I was only sitting in the ENT’s office for about five minutes past my scheduled appointment before being ushered inside.

The ENT asked lots of questions and looked in my ears, nose and throat.

Then he sprayed some anaesthetic up my nose and vacuumed my ears while he waited for it to take effect.

He told me it was pretty messy in there – my ears were definitely in need of a good vacuum. Much like my house.

I normally wait until I’m almost totally deaf to do something about my ears; vacuuming my house requires the threat of visitors.

I filled him in on my theory that I had an ear infection that had spread to my nose and throat. Nup, I just have dermatitis like the GP said. Who gets dermatitis INSIDE their ears FFS?

So I have to put cortisone in them.

Then he poked one of those tiny microscope camera things up each nostril and down my throat. I didn’t like that AT ALL. Very uncomfortable.

He said my ears and nose looked totally fine, nothing to report.

However, my throat was very red. Chronic laryngitis apparently.

Ironically, I thought laryngitis meant not being able to talk, but I can still talk under water.

Having chronic laryngitis just means you’ve had an inflamed voice box for more than three weeks.

Sounds good though … anything sounds good with a “chronic” in front of it.

But here’s the kicker: he thinks the chronic laryngitis is caused by reflux.

Reflux! How daggy is THAT?

I thought reflux was heartburn, which I rarely get. But symptoms can also be sensation of a lump in your throat, chronic throat clearing, sore throat, post-nasal drip and coughing.

The cure isn’t a nice course of antibiotics or something. It’s less caffeine, alcohol, red meat and fatty food.

That’s all my favourite food groups gone!!!!!!

I just wanted it fixed. Sigh.

When I told DD that, he impolitely answered: “Rather than middle age lifestyle changes and weight loss?”

Cheeky bugger … who also has reflux … Fine one to talk.

I also made the mistake of telling the youngest, who is now on my case about having a healthier lifestyle. She found the glass of wine I’d hidden behind the bagels last night and gave me such a lecture about it.

She also made us eat our salmon uncrumbed for dinner, with lots of salad.

She’ll make a good sargeant one day.

In the meantime, I’m stuck with the sore throat until gawd knows when.

Ear dermatitis and acid freaking reflux!

I’m still in denial about it.

Have a great long weekend … mine will be spent nibbling on carrot sticks.

Song of the day: INXS “Burn for you”