Ummmm … this one’s not safe for work

OK, you have been warned, there are rude bits in today’s blog post  …

DD popped over to my office for a quick coffee yesterday on the way to his office.

He was wearing a suit. It made me a little giddy when I saw him.

I’ve never been a suit girl before, but they do something for me on him.

I love that he still makes me giddy after four years.

On the subject of desire …

I learned yesterday that pigs can orgasm for up to 30 minutes. Actually, that’s not entirely accurate. They can ejaculate for up to 30 minutes.

I swear, I’m not making it up. I read it in a proper BBC article.

For a proper BBC article it made me laugh a lot.

It noted: “The first thing to say is that we don’t know what sensations the males – or the females for that matter – experience when they mate, so any talk of orgasms is speculative.

“But based on the ubiquitous “gloved hand” method used to coax sperm from male pigs, ejaculation does appear to last a very long time. In a 2012 study of “high performance boars”, the average duration of ejaculation was around 6 minutes. But there was considerable variation, with one male apparently yielding semen continuously for 31 minutes.

“It is difficult to know whether this kind of protracted ejaculation can occur in the absence of the “gloved hand”, but it is certainly a possibility. According to observations of males with real sows, copulation duration is typically 4-5 minutes, but can last up to 20 minutes.

“Whatever the truth about orgasms, an online primer on how to artificially inseminate pigs warns practitioners not to interrupt the male before he’s done, unless they want a very angry pig on their hands. ‘If you let loose too soon, be prepared for a challenge’.”

Why on earth was I researching pig orgasms? Well, I happened across this tweet:

Bwahahahaha.

It was in a compilation of funny tweets about sex that popped up in my Facebook feed.

This one also made me laugh:

I think anyone who’s ever been fleeced by Simon Johnson can relate to that one.

Also very useful advice for faking an orgasm. Unless you’re a hopeless actress like me.

Aaaaaand that’s what you get when I’m stumped for something to blog about.

Enjoy your Thursday. Wish me luck at the ENT!

Song of the day: Hunters & Collectors “The Slab”

(I still make fun of DD for not knowing what The Slab was about until I told him on a road trip last year. Poor, innocent fiftysomething him.)

 

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