It’s a matter of trust

I thought I found dope in my 14 year old’s bedroom over the weekend.

Argh!

I was clearing out the dirty dishes so rats don’t take up residence in there.

There was a little ziplock bag sitting on the desk – not hidden at all – filled with what looked like a bag of marijuana heads. I gasped and opened it for a sniff, expecting that distinctive funky, skunky smell. But it didn’t smell like marijuana. It didn’t smell of anything at all.

I picked a bit out, rubbed it between my fingers and sniffed again. Still nothing. Weird. But it bloody looked like it.

I decided to stay chill until the eldest was back at my place. When I waved the baggie at the eldest on Tuesday night they started laughing.

It seems my resident artiste thought it would be funny to eviscerate a herbal tea bag, dab the contents with some candle wax and create fake heads just for fun.

And I’m prepared to believe that … though thousands wouldn’t. At the very least gave me a chance to launch into a “you’re too young for drugs” talk.

My suspiciousness has been heightened lately because the eldest is a little “alternative” (OK a lot); looks and acts 17, goes to a new school in a more permissive part of town, and there have been a few trust issues in the household recently.

For example, the mum of one of the eldest’s besties is convinced they’re sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night together and getting up to no good.

Argh! Actually, make that arrrrrrgggggh!

She sounded the alarm bell for the first time during the last school holidays. I got a text message from her announcing my child had been partying in the city all night. I couldn’t confirm or deny her wild claims – when I’d left for work that morning, the eldest’s bedroom door was shut. I presumed the eldest had been in bed since we said goodnight 10 hours before, but I had no proof.

When I finally roused the eldest a few hours later via multiple text messages they assured me they’d been asleep the whole time.

That didn’t stop the other mum turning up at my house – while I was still at work – to rip my child a new one.

Er, hello, what?

I had a loooooooooong talk with the eldest that night and they assured me no sneaking out had occurred the night before.

And I ‘m prepared to believe that, though thousands wouldn’t. At the very least it gave me a chance to launch into a “you’re too young to be sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night” talk.

That didn’t stop the other mum being ON MY CASE about it the next day, insisting my child was lying.

I started to get a little cranky at that point, thinking it was time she backed off and stuck to parenting her own kid.

We eventually moved to being no longer on speaking terms after she insisted my child had confirmed to her that they’d snuck out and I replied “OK, hang on, THAT didn’t happen.”

As if!

And she went all HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A LIAR on me. We haven’t spoken since.

At 7am on Sunday morning she started ranting via text message to both my child and my ex – since I’m not on speaking terms with her – insisting the kids had been out all night again together.

Except this time we categorically knew it WASN’T true because the eldest was away in Port Stephens visiting their cousins with my ex.

Hah!

Something that bugs me – other than it being completely inappropriate to send abusive text messages when you have no proof – is that she didn’t apologise to my child for laying into them and making false accusations to their dad.

Why do people feel it’s unnecessary to apologise to kids? I don’t think it’s the right message to send – everyone deserves an apology, regardless of age.

Just because they’re not an adult doesn’t mean they’re a lesser human.

When I told the eldest I felt that way, they freaked me out by noting they’ve rankled at being treated like a child since they were a toddler and can remember laying in their crib thinking “why are people talking to me like I’m a moron?”

That must be a created memory, right?

As my grandmother used to say about me: “Still waters run deep”.

But hopefully they don’t run out of the house and smoke dope at the local oval at 1am.

Song of the day: Smash Mouth “I’m a believer”