It takes two to tango

My sister’s ovaries hurt for a split second the other night while she was babysitting her ex husband’s new bubba.

She sent me texts filled with videos and photos of the adorable little boy.

The hurty ovary bit came when he went to sleep without the slightest fuss, after reaching out to give her a huge cuddle first.

He’s what my nan would have called an “easy-osy baby”.

But my sister quickly decided that she was waaaaaaay to old and tired to even contemplate having another baby. Babysitting is a far better option.

The bubba was also there staring in wonder the other night, as three generations from both sides of the divorce gathered for my nephew’s teppanyaki birthday celebration.

A similar-ish gathering may be on the cards for me tomorrow, when the eldest turns 14. She wants to eat takeaway pizza, followed by a homemade brownie birthday cake layered with cream and caramel with a chocolate icing drizzle on top (very specific) and watch The X-Files on the tellie.

My ex is a definite for the celebration and there’s a chance his parents will pop over too – their first visit to my post-separation house – as they’re on their way up the coast for my sister-in-law’s birthday.

I’ve told my ex they are more than welcome to join the low-key fun.

I’m not sure why my sister and I are so chill with our co-parenting journeys. I know there are many exes who can’t even bear to be in the same room as each other, let alone hold mixed family celebrations or babysit their ex’s new offspring.

I think we’ve both decided there’s not much to be gained from being bitter and nasty. It just makes your life smaller and meaner.

My sister adores her son’s half-brother. I adore that my kids are well adjusted to separated family life.

It also means – tough as it can be to reconcile – there are more people to love our children. It’s not ideal, no-one would wish divorce upon their kids. But if it happens, I reckon it’s best to ensure everyone suffers as little as possible.

It takes two to tango, but geez it’s worth it if you can both learn the steps.

Song of the day: Split Enz “I don’t wanna dance”