I’d been so good. Strictly no alcoholic beverages unless at social occasions. But yesterday broke me.
Well, it chipped the rim.
As I rarely drink at home these days, my wine rack was pretty bare. I resorted to opening the freebie bottle of Chambers Muscat I was given at the ALSA Conference last month. It was deeeelicious.
Oh, don’t worry, I didn’t drink it all. Just had a couple of itty bitty shot glasses.
The reason for the muscat shots was – ironically – having no one to hold my hand.
If you recall, I wrote a blog post called “Nobody will hold your hand” two days ago. It mused on an article by Kellie Baker called “Please don’t call yourself a single mother when your husband is out of town.”
It included the line “you’re all alone. There’s no co-parent by your side to wipe your tears, squeeze your hand.”
My blog post included the line “It reminded me that I’m pretty fortunate in the single mum stakes. Sure, it has its exhausting moments, but my experience has been a lot easier than hers and so many other single mums out there.”
I forgot the universe likes messing with me.
I was sitting at work yesterday afternoon when I started feeling crook. Really crook. I was having shooting pains in my abdomen that were so intense they were making me feel nauseous. I thought it might be food poisoning from the leftover chicken noodles I had for lunch and hobbled to the bathroom expecting the worst. But nothing came except more shooting pains in my abdomen and a vicious ache in my back.
It became impossible to work so I shuffled home. It’s only 15 minutes from my work to my house, but it was the longest drive home ever. Each speed hump almost reduced me to tears it hurt so much.
And then the petrol light on the car started flashing, so I shakily detoured to fill the tank up because I had to collect the skipping kiddos in a few hours time and wasn’t sure what condition I would be in then.
That hurt a lot too.
When I got home I called DD and had a little sob. He ran me through my symptoms, which I eventually pinned down to incredible sensitivity just below my belly button, and told me to take two Nurofen and let him know how I was in 30 minutes.
That’s kinda the point you want someone to wipe your tears and squeeze your hand.
But there isn’t anyone because you’re a single mum and your boyfriend lives 45 minutes away and is in the middle of dealing his own single parenting stuff.
And it will be really inconvenient if you have to drive yourself to hospital and call around to find someone to collect the kids from their various activities.
Weirdly, about 15 minutes later the pain was gone. Totally gone. I’m wondering if I have gallstones or something. It was really, really horrible. I mean, I’m a terrible hypochondriac, but it was very not fun.
I was rattled by it. So rattled that – after I dropped three kids home from skipping and ran the eldest to a night bushwalk for Scouts and made dinner for the youngest, I clagged in front of tellie and recoiled in horror for the next two hours over The Bachelor … completely forgetting to collect the eldest from the end of her bushwalk …
The Bachelor is a terrible, terrible show. I can’t believe I let the 11-year-old watch it with me and forgot to collect her sister.
Fortunately I was in such a rush when I got the “where are you?” text message that I forgot my glasses and couldn’t see the disdainful look on the Scout leader’s face when I hooned up 15 minutes late.
The eldest managed to get the most ginormous tick I’ve ever seen on her bushwalk. She refused to let me help her remove it, just disappeared into her room with a can of Mortein because she’d Googled that’s how you remove them, by killing them with bug spray first.
Right. OK. That sounds highly suss, but if you’re sure …
I might just have some Muscat then.
WHY ISN’T THERE SOMEONE TO HELP??????
She reappeared 10 minutes later and announced she’d tried to tweeze the tick out but it’s head broke off under her skin.
Sigh. That doesn’t sound good.
Tweezering kid ailments was always my ex’s department, in addition to vomit and “there’s something in my eye!” stuff.
Anyways, keep your fingers crossed I don’t have gallstones. That would be VERY inconvenient.
Song of the day: John Mellencamp “Lonely ‘ol Night”
PS Oh how I love James Weir’s recaps of The Bachelor, you must read them all, but here’s the one from last night.