Innocent mistake

Are there more terrifying words your child can utter  … when you finally slump on the sofa at 8.30pm … after being away for two days at a conference …  than “I need to dress up for Book Week tomorrow”?

Mummy freaked out … but the youngest calmly explained it was all sorted – she was going to wear her dirdnl and go as “Heidi – Hitler’s Daughter.”

Oh. OK. Great …

There’s a book called “Heidi – Hitler’s Daughter”??

Intense!

“Maybe you could go as just Heidi?” I suggested. (I thought it might be slightly off-putting for the schoolyard to be informed: “I’m Heidi – Hilter’s daughter!”)

The youngest looked at me blankly. I vaguely conveyed there was a book called just “Heidi”,  but was too tired to clearly explain the main character in that one wasn’t the daughter of the most despicable man in history.

Anyways, Google tells me there’s a children’s book by Jackie French called “Hitler’s Daughter”, which is about a group of children waiting for their school bus who tell stories to pass the time. Anna tells a story about Hitler’s secret daughter Heidi, a young girl who was kept hidden to hide her identity who comes to realise how evil her father is. Anna finishes her story with Heidi escaping from the ruins of Berlin and immigrating to Australia, where she grows old and eventually reveals the truth to her granddaughter.

I was quite thrilled to see the dirdnl get another outing.

As you may recall, I was talked into buying it for the youngest to wear last year to International Day at her school.

I was initially resistant to the extravagance, but she found one for $20 – with free postage – on eBay. Powerless in the face of her industriousness and determination, I bought it.

She thought all the kid ones on eBay were daggy, so we ordered a size 6 adult one …

It seemed a bit raunchy on a grown woman in the photos, but I figured it would be long and demure on a kid.

When it arrived, the youngest couldn’t wait to show me all its unexpected accoutrements.

“Here’s the dress … Here’s the ribbon to lace it up … Here’s the apron … here’s the headband … But I can’t work out what THIS is for …”

She was holding up a teeny, tiny red satin G-string …

Yep, I’d bought my child a dirdnl from a sex shop. (Oh, and the “headband” was a garter.)

Anyways, it’s come in quite handy. The dirdnl, that is. I chucked the G-string, I swear.

The youngest also wore it to a band concert that required her to dress in an international costume. So, that’s $20 well spent in an online sex shop.

As I was plaiting her blonde hair as the finishing touch to het outfit yesterday, the youngest piped up with “So there’s really a book just called Heidi?”

“Yes, there is. It’s about a little girl in the alps who … ummmm …”

What IS Heidi about?

My friend Google later reminded me it’s about an orphaned girl who is reluctantly brought up by her surly grandfather in the mountains and wins the hearts of everyone. A bit like Anne of Green Gables European style.

The youngest wanted to know if I liked it as a kid. Yes, I think I did, though it sounds a bit intense too – it features a jealous goat herder boy who destroys a disabled girl’s wheelchair because he’s jealous of her friendship with Heidi.

As we pulled up at the school, the youngest became oddly reluctant to get out of the car – she had a last-minute panic about spending the day in a milkmaid costume after spotting someone walking into the school in uniform.

But then a kid dressed as a Minion wandered past, prompting the youngest to exclaim: “I didn’t know Minions was a book!”

It’s not … but parents can get a bit desperate when they find out about Book Week at 8.30pm the night before …

And she was off …

Song of the day: Tina Turner “River deep, mountain high”

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Innocent mistake

  1. Hilarious. I read Heidi as a kid. I’m going to bookweek as Smurfette. It’s recycled from a previous bookweek. I like to wear things which won’t look too ridiculous to a policeman if I get pulled over on my way to work. P.S. We all know what you did with the G string 😉

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s