I hope its not broken

I was going to take the week off from blogging as I’m feeling a little mojo low.

But I woke up this morning and there was so much I needed to tell you.

It’s only been a few days since I’ve talked at you, but it feels like an eternity and I wanted to fill you in.

As usual, it’s been a bit nuts:

My parents have finally sold their house after three false alarms. They are stoked that all the stress and open for inspections are over. I’m heading up there on Friday to farewell the place.

My brother-in-law – bless him – came over and lit the pilot light on my gas heating. So it’s finally nice and toasty in the house.

My work bestie finished up on Friday. I will miss her very much. We’d take turns doing coffee runs – tall, weak skinny cap with an Equal for her, strong regular flat white with half a sugar for me – and making each other laugh with outrageous stories. My office life will be much quieter without her.

Fortunately, a text from the youngest put a smile on my face that afternoon. She wrote: “Can I cook something on the stove?”

I replied: “Cool, what? Why don’t you make jelly?”

She wrote back: “Want to make sugar seared apples.”

As you do when you’re an 11-year-old at a loose end after school … I don’t know why that tickled me so much, but it did. Sugar. Seared. Apples.

We may be watching a little too much Masterchef …

I drove the eldest to Hornsby in the early hours of Saturday morning to do her orienteering badge for Scouts. We had a bit of a falling out earlier in the week when she insisted she’d be wearing her pleather biker jacket for the two-day hike. It’s not a freaking fashion parade, I growled. But, come Saturday morning she stubbornly donned it. The Scout leader took one look at her and said nup. She tried to argue with him too, but he said nup a few more times and she sulkily gave in.

I bought a can of carpet cleaner on the way home and finally dragged the dog-wee-covered oriental carpet out of the garage (it’s been there about a year) and covered it in foam. It’s been vacuumed and re-installed in the back living room and I will KILL the fur baby if he dares to cock his leg on it.

The youngest is on crutches after she stubbed her little toe and it made an ominous cracking noise. I’m hoping its not broken, as she has the State Skipping Championships in six weeks. I was also hoping to not have to hire crutches, but she was relentless. You should have seen the grin on her face as she swung on them through the shopping centre. Little terror. Though it’s faded a bit since her armpits started hurting.

I relented on the rental because she was off to see Little Shop of Horrors performed at our local high school and it was going to be quite a walk to get there from the nearest drop off point. I managed to dodge going and send her with another school mum. I also intended to dodge the “URGENT! Please help!” email from the band committee seeking volunteers to bake and serve goodies at interval. But guilt is my middle name, so by mid-week I’d offered to bake 24 cupcakes.

The band fundraising organiser got very excited about my “fabulous” cupcakes and even wrote that word on the schedule she sent out to everyone. Way to put the pressure on …

I decided to make piggy cupcakes, with the youngest insisting on doing the decorating. The eyes were a little too close together on some of them …  but points to her for helping when her toe was throbbing “like fire”.

The school mum friend who took her to the show – bless her – bought five because she “knew they would be safe.”

After I dropped off the cupcakes I headed to my sister’s for the best steak I’ve had in FOREVER and a glass of semillon in her spa.


I told her what I really want for my 50th is for everyone to chip in and buy me the house clean to end all house cleans. I’m talking the kind of clean where they come in wearing hazmat suits with the instruction that every surface might have traces of ebola virus on it and needs to be scrubbed within an inch of its life.

I HATE cleaning more than ANYTHING. Please GoFundMe someone to do it for me.

So you can imagine how pleased I was to spend Sunday morning excavating/clearing out the eldest’s bedroom. It was HORRIFYING. I am surprised there weren’t rats scurrying around.

Yesterday arvo, I popped over to a friend’s house for a glass of Piper Heidsieck to christen her reno – noice. She’d also made fabulous homemade sausage rolls and caramel slice. Triple noice.

The eldest arrived home from her hike while I was sipping. I felt briefly guilty about not being there to welcome her home before getting a text saying she was going straight to bed because she was knackered. I finally woke her up at 5pm and she said every single muscle in her body ached. There’d been a harrowing climbing bit where a boy had cried the whole way and kept refusing to walk and there wasn’t enough food. Lunch was a small tin of chicken “that looked like cat food” that they ate with their fingers because they couldn’t be bothered getting out their forks and without bread rolls because they’d run out.

Sounds like a total blast.

Anyways, that’s what I’ve been up to. Tell me all your news, I’ve missed you …

Song of the day: Everything But The Girl “Missing”

9 thoughts on “I hope its not broken

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    1. She’s off the crutches and back skipping. The fear was that if the toe was broken she wouldn’t be able to rehearse for six weeks, which would totally blow their chances at States.

  1. I took off from work a couple of hours early on Friday and road to Natimbuck (where the faaark is Natimbuck…great bumper sticker!) near Horsham with my brother on our motorbikes. A lazy 4 1/2 hours. We lobbed at an AirBnB which was an old weatherboard cottage on the highway…looked a bit Duelling Banjos as we pulled up in the dark but the light was on out back and the fire had been set in the lounge so it wasn’t too bad!
    Dinner at the pub and chatting with the friendly locals, we discovered that Natimbuck is a rock-climbing mecca and there were plenty of photos on the walls of people hanging off vertical cliff faces.
    Saturday morning we headed to Adelaide, via Weisswurst in Hahndorf (one of my favourite places in SA), and then met up with our Laser Group mates for dinner in Adelaide.
    It was a blast riding with ten other bikes back to Melbourne on Sunday…cold but good weather all the way. Like your eldest, I am a bit knackered, too…my 30 year old brain forgets I have a 60 year old body!
    The Laser Electrical and Plumbing Group raised over $120,000 on this charity ride from Melbourne to Cairns, returning via Central Australia, for the Beyond Blue “Monkey Off Your Back” campaign!

  2. Sitting here smiling ear to ear. Loved your post. Glad you didn’t take longer off. Makes me feel like a lazy bones, cos fuck all has been done here, but the kids arrive today and the garden is yelling for attention, so I am gonna pretend I was pacing myself.

  3. So glad it’s been a better few days! Your post was so newsy and upbeat …made a good start to my day. I had the mother in law staying but managed to have some fun by escaping to Simon Johnsons warehouse sale. I taught one teenager how to play darts. Teenagers slept mostly as need to recover from a brutally busy last week of term. I walked each day, listening to my favourite podcast Here’s the thing by AlecBaldwin, and escaped to Tuscany by reading A Day In Tuscany. Now back to the grindstone of work, unreadonanle bosses and the inadequacy of remote working.

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