I freaked my intern out again yesterday. I asked him to write me a press release on the drinks association’s upcoming awards night. I sent a few dot points to him via email to get around the whole thick accent problem and a few minutes later his confused head popped over the partition.
“Um … sorry to bother you … but you said in your email that people would ‘move on from the awards’ presentation to have drinks and nibbles before dinner … what does that mean?”
I got up and started doing exaggerated hip and hand gestures – charades style – to show what “moving on” meant.
He let me flap around for just a few seconds too long before saying “No, what does ‘nibbles’ mean?”
Ah. Right … I’ll stop the middle-aged hula routine then.
“You don’t know what ‘nibbles’ means?”
What the hell do Americans call them?
I stammered: “Ummmm, do you know what finger food is?”
He replied that it was like “cocktail food”.
Yeah! Cocktail food! Everyone will move on for cocktail food.
I had NO idea Americans don’t have nibbles – poor them – nibbles are, like, the most awesome thing in the world. Give me nibbles over actual dinner any day. Who’d have thought Americans wouldn’t know what nibbles were?
So it’s not just my accent Nick doesn’t understand, it’s the vernacular as well.
I’ll have to give him a crash course in Aussie slang, well, the bits I remember from HSC English.
I could start with “Your President has a roo loose in his top paddock” – very evocative.
Or I could send him the article from this blog post I wrote about The 100 Rudest Effing Things Australians Say.
Or would that be regarded as sexual harrassment, since it opens with the phrase “Bangs like a dunny door in the wind”?
Perhaps I’ve put him through enough already.
Song of the day: Mother Goose “Baked Beans” and Maureen Elkner “Rak off Normie”