My cyberstalking regret

I did some self-destructive things when my husband left that I now regret.

One of the most painful was discovering I could turn on the “where is my iPhone?” function on my iPad and – because we still shared an iCloud – track his movements.

It was gut wrenching to watch that little blip move around the city. I tortured myself wondering what he was doing and who he was seeing.

I finally confessed my secret to a friend and she was horrified. She told me I had to stop immediately, because no good could come of stalking my ex, only heartache.

I assured her I’d switch it off, but it was horribly addictive. I secretly continued for weeks, weeping over that damn iPad.

And don’t get me started on the cyber Sherlock Holmes job I did on his new partner …  the senseless hours I spent sleuthing on Facebook and Twitter …

That was a gut-wrenching mistake too.

I can’t remember what the turning point was, but I finally found the strength to switch off the “find my iPhone” app and I’ve never been tempted to switch it on again. I don’t even know if we share an iCloud any more.

It’s also been an age since I felt the slightest temptation to stalk his girlfriend.

My friend was right – nothing good came from stalking. I needed to stop if my heart was to heal.

And it has.

Once I stopped picking at the scabs, the raw ache in my chest ebbed away.

Sure, there are scars, but they fade a little more every day.

I’ve realised that letting go of the past is the path to a happy, emotionally healthy future.

Have you ever cyber stalked someone? 

Song of the day: The Police “Every breath you take”

 

 

 

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6 thoughts on “My cyberstalking regret

  1. I think it’s great that you got there in your own time. As far as stalking goes, it was probably a better option than hiding behind the trees in his garden and peering in his windows! He was a pretty big part of your life for quite some time. It’s natural that you’d be curious. As you say, now you don’t feel the slightest inclination to wonder where he is, and if you did wonder, you might feel free enough to just text and say, hey, whassup? Isn’t it great the way things work out?

    • True NoNameJ – though the wanting to know what the other person is up to is usually because we’re hoping they’re free to have the kids because a work meeting or party has popped up!

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