I did some self-destructive things when my husband left that I now regret.
One of the most painful was discovering I could turn on the “where is my iPhone?” function on my iPad and – because we still shared an iCloud – track his movements.
It was gut wrenching to watch that little blip move around the city. I tortured myself wondering what he was doing and who he was seeing.
I finally confessed my secret to a friend and she was horrified. She told me I had to stop immediately, because no good could come of stalking my ex, only heartache.
I assured her I’d switch it off, but it was horribly addictive. I secretly continued for weeks, weeping over that damn iPad.
And don’t get me started on the cyber Sherlock Holmes job I did on his new partner … the senseless hours I spent sleuthing on Facebook and Twitter …
That was a gut-wrenching mistake too.
I can’t remember what the turning point was, but I finally found the strength to switch off the “find my iPhone” app and I’ve never been tempted to switch it on again. I don’t even know if we share an iCloud any more.
It’s also been an age since I felt the slightest temptation to stalk his girlfriend.
My friend was right – nothing good came from stalking. I needed to stop if my heart was to heal.
And it has.
Once I stopped picking at the scabs, the raw ache in my chest ebbed away.
Sure, there are scars, but they fade a little more every day.
I’ve realised that letting go of the past is the path to a happy, emotionally healthy future.
Have you ever cyber stalked someone?
Song of the day: The Police “Every breath you take”