Poor, lonely single mum me: the kids are in Venice this week and DD is school holiday single dadding.
Not content with handing me those challenges, the universe has decided to throw no TV into the mix (there’s something wrong with the power in the living room post-renovation) and my broadband is stuffed.
It appears my phone line is faulty – it keep dropping out. iiNet wanted me to check it with a phone handset. I haven’t had a phone handset for 10 years.
Funnily enough, that little problem ended up being a secret blessing. I texted my friend Emily asking if SHE had a handset. She did, and invited me over for a glass of wine while I picked it up. It was lovely to chat and sip for an hour!
I needed a boost.
My ex sent me some pics of the kids in Venice last night and they made me cry. He didn’t mean for them to make me cry, he was just letting me know how the girls were going. (The pic above shows a mask the youngest painted – they are having SUCH a good holiday, lucky ducks.)
One photo featured the youngest standing on the balcony of the Air BnB, which overlooks one of the canals. Her blonde locks were immaculately pulled back in a special ‘do … I took one look at it and my heart clenched … SSF had obviously done her hair.
That undid me slightly – the thought of another woman, THAT woman, mothering my child.
I only lost it for a minute, but it was a very hurty minute.
Then I reminded myself I should be grateful that my ex is with someone who is kind to my kids.
I’m missing my daughters. The house is so quiet with no TV, no broadband and no them.
But life goes on, and there is work and cleaning builders’ wee trails off the sides of my toilet to keep me occupied.
When I say “life goes on”, it’s no longer in the John Mellencamp “long after the thrill of living is gone” way.
Life at 48 is filled with more thrills than I ever thought possible for middle-aged me.
Sure, there are moments when despair sneaks up on me and I shake my fists at those damn hormones for knocking me off course. But I really do love my life much, much more than I hate it.
Song of the day: John Mellencamp “Jack and Diane”