I have SO much to tell you

PWow, where do I start? Forgive me, this is going to be a looooong one …

I was totally shattered – bordering on mildly deranged – from a combination of no sleep or entertainment system on my Qantas flight home from Singapore, coupled with the most revolting breakfast I’ve ever eaten on a plane … which is saying something, because I once got food poisoning from the Portuguese sausage and scrambled eggs on a Hawaiian Airlines flight many, many moons ago.

Mum, my travel companion, DID warn me not to eat it, but would I listen? Nooooo!

Anyways … My Qantas “breakfast” was some greasy pastry thingy and it was vile. I’m really pretty stunned by the whole experience. I used to be quite in love with the Flying Kangaroo. But that flight was the WORST.

Fortunately my incredibly kind sister collected me from the airport and drove me to her place, where my car was parked, before she headed off on a romantic weekend away with her husband.

My humour took another plunge when I arrived home to discover two workmen installing French doors and a window at my house, which was a shambolic, dusty mess.

I really wasn’t in the mood for workmen. I wanted a nice, quiet shower and a nap.

I tried calling DD for succour, but his phone went to voicemail and my follow up text went unanswered for an hour (actually, I don’t know how long it was, but it felt like an eternity in my woebegone state).

I may have had a minor Florence-style meltdown when he finally called me back.

He was really nice about it though, and offered his clean bathroom and bed for me to sloosh and sleep after I collected the fur babies.

I eventually took him up on it, but before I get to that … The renovation looks AMAZING. Three previously pokey, dark rooms are now one enormous, light-filled room. I love it! I wish it was a bit more finished … But I am revelling in the potential.

Unfortunately there’s no potential in the cheap, ugly benchtop I chose. Blerk. But it will have to stay until I win the lottery.

I had a quick sticky beak around, then hooned off to collect the fur babies and hand over $1050 to their sitter. Ouch.

Then I cooled my heels on DD’s deck with a Diet Coke from his fridge while I waited for him to get back from a session with The Warrior. When he finally returned, he insisted I needed a beach swim because it was so gorgeous.

He was right, Bilgola was stunning – flat as a pond, tropical blue and soooooo clear. It was also bracingly cold, but I loved it.

Then we had coffee with DD’s lovely mate Dave. Well, I had water because I had the best intentions of sleeping when I got back to DD’s place.

Whales frolicked in the distance as we sipped!

A trip to Woolies followed so we could get the makings of BBQ chook sangers, which we ate on the couch while the fur babies stared longingly at us through the sliding door window.

I tries to sleep while DD went for a haircut, but the little bastards kept barking and waking me up.

Then it was off to my old friend Jo’s 50th birthday, which was handily at the nearby Royal Motor Yacht Club. Jo was one of my best friends in high school – she was in love with Tim Finn and I was in love with Neil Finn. We’d lie on her bed and tell elaborate stories to each other about them falling madly in love with us.

It’s a bit freaky that she’s 50 now and I’m not that far off.

DD blew my mind by being the life of the party and talking virtually non-stop the whole time we were there.

There’s no way Jo or her sister Megan will believe anything I say about him being quiet now.

Damn him.

We made it an early one because I was so knackered and worried about falling asleep at the wheel on my way back to ground zero. On the way out of the Yacht Club we passed a poster for a Rod Stewart impersonator performing there soon, which DD thought was hilarious because a professional Rod Stewart impersonator “kissed” me on RSVP just before I met him.

Ah, what might have been …

And then I went home and slept like the dead for eight hours, which is quite a lot for me.

I struggled out of bed just in time for DD to collect me for yum cha in the city with some of his old friends from university. He said they were all quiet too, some even more than him. I was desperate to know what happens when seven quiet people get together for lunch. Does everyone just sit there in comfortable silence?

DD suggested I sit down at the table and not saying anything for a few minutes to find out … But I’d just had a double-shot flat white and pauses in conversation terrify me, so I cheerfully regaled the table with the dinosaur sex anecdote I told DD on our first “date” at the Terrey Hills Tavern.

I expect they think I’m a “character.”

They also seemed to talk quite a lot for quiet people, when I let them get a word in. There was much discussion of the wild parties they used to throw that included the destroying the marble fireplace at DD’s parents’ terrace by climbing on it to watch the band and other naughty stories I’ve wisely chosen to erase from this post.

Then DD headed off to watch the footy and launch his week of single dadding, I grocery shopped, then tried to set up the computer. Almost managed it too, after searching long and hard for where I’d hidden the freaking router, but I can’t get the sodding mouse and keyboard to work. I suspect it’s a battery issue but I couldn’t find my AA supplies in the dark TV room – the electricity isn’t working out there for some reason.

Grrrrr. So it was a night of perching in the dusty reno room on the iPad for me.

And that explains what I’ve been madly doing since I hopped off the plane, also why yesterday’s blog was all screwed up, as it was written on my mobile phone and not checked properly in my bleary state yesterday morning pre-caffeine.

Faaaaaaar out I was tired last night, but I had a crap night’s sleep – all tossy and turny – so today promises to be a bit bleary.

How’s your long weekend going (if there’s one in your State … If not, poor you!)?

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