You know how I admitted yesterday that I’m hopeless with social niceties? Well, that’s just the tip of a very big, nutso iceberg.
I’m also really uncomfortable about receiving gifts. And compliments totally freak me out.
I absolutely love giving gifts, coming up the perfect present, buying it and seeing the delight on the receiver’s face when they open it. So it’s a bit unfair of me to hate being on the receiving end.
But being the centre of attention while opening a gift makes my stomach lurch. And I can never think of anything I want when people ask for suggestions (though when my electric beaters broke while I was making cupcakes for the youngest’s birthday it was a bit of a eureka moment about what to suggest my mum give me for my birthday).
Honestly, I’d rather not be given gifts. Let’s do something together instead.
As for compliments, they make me panic. Say something nice to me and my brain has a bzzzzt moment and immediately blanks it out. On the other hand, all the mean stuff remains permanently etched into my memory.
As Vivienne Ward once said: “The bad stuff is easier to believe.”
A colleague told me yesterday: “You’re a real pro and lovely and I will miss you.”
Her kind words brought me undone. They were written in a Skype message so my brain couldn’t go bzzzzt and blank them out.
Tears splashed on my computer keyboard.
I need to get better at believing (and hearing) the good stuff.
Is April too late for New Year’s resolutions?
Song of the day: Simple Minds “Sanctify yourself”