Oh, the irony!

I’ve been blissfully on holidays for more than a week. No early starts, no rushed commutes.

You’d think that would have been a good chance to catch up on sleep, but noooooo.

I’ve been waking up around 3 or 4am every morning in a total panic.

It takes me about an hour or two to talk myself off the mental ledge and back to sleep (if I’m lucky).

I’m battling a few health and forward-planning issues that have gripped my heart and mind in those dark, quiet hours.

And despite knowing that 4am is NOT the time to consult Doctor Google, I find myself researching hideous medical conditions when I should be chanting calming mantras to myself and returning to the land of nod.

My days, as a result, are a blur of exhaustion and caffeine, which is NOT how a relaxed holiday with the kids should be.

Fortunately, the kids and I are taking it pretty easy. They’ve had a pretty hectic time recently: two weeks in Tasmania and a week with their grandparents, so they’re happy to slouch on the couch or walk the dogs.

The youngest and I have also gone on a few bushwalks so she can try out the new gym gear she got for Christmas. She’s absurdly proud of that blue Addidas singlet and the shiny gym shorts.

We also bought a copy of the second season of The X-Files to binge on at night.

The first episode went down a treat, it was about aliens making contact. But the eldest totally freaked out over the second episode about a giant humanoid fluke worm living in the sewers and attacking people.

She took the disc out of the DVD player when it finished, handed it to me and said she wasn’t watching another episode EVER.

It’s not the first time. We had another “incident” with The X-Files back in 2013.

She lost it over an episode where a fungus was discovered in a volcano and it took over people’s bodies and eventually killed them, with a prong of spore shooting through their chests. She asked for it to be turned off halfway through and ran to her room in tears.

It would seem that while orcs getting their heads smashed in with axes is totally fine, anything involving spores and other insidious organisms is NOT. (She must NEVER see Contagion, which I came across on the tellie again the other night and is HARROWING. Any overseas travel would be forever off limits to us.)

Isn’t it funny the things that do or don’t freak out kids?

The youngest on the other hand can watch absolutely anything and not bat an eyelid or utter the smallest of shrieks in her sleep.

What freaks your kids out? 

Song of the day: Alanis Morrissette “Ironic”