Dividing the assets

divorce cake 2.jpg

Expecting people to choose sides in my marriage break-up isn’t my style.

I don’t hold grudges against anyone who remains friends with my ex.

Shite happens. Relationships end. Life goes on.

I mean, I WAS secretly chuffed when I met a colleague of my ex’s paramour who said they’d had more fun with me in 30 minutes than they’d had with her in two years …

That said, some people have chosen sides.

Our hairdresser, for example, is firmly in my court.

My ex and I shared Mark for about 15 years, until our marriage began to crumble … oddly enough … or maybe not so oddly … perhaps that’s why my ex swapped to someone in the suburbs.

Mark would listen to my tales of marital discord and exclaim “What a grumpy old man!”

He saw the split coming long before I did. Writing on the wall and all that.

I think our bank manager, the divine Pauline from St George in Market Street, was secretly relieved to be on holidays when he called her for loan to buy his new apartment.

My parents will never speak to him again, if they can help it. But I suppose fierce loyalty is to be expected in their case.

There are some mutual friends I don’t hear from any more. I feel a little sad about that.

There are others who feel they’ve been dumped by my ex.

I wonder if it feels weird for him to have nothing to do with my friends and family he’s known for 23  years. Occasionally I’ll mention their major life events, but I can sense those people no longer feel real to him.

He’s moved on. Her family and friends populate his nights and weekends now.

Much like DD’s family and friends populate mine.

My life is richer for it, I presume his life is too.

Every day my ex becomes more two dimensional. Eventually we will be polite strangers. It’s weird to think that the man who held my hand and wept as I was wheeled into emergency surgery during the birth of our first child will become somebody that I used to know.

It’s odd to be so close to someone then so distant.

All that shared history and love fading like an old photograph.

I still can’t quite get my head around it.

They say divorce is like death without the burial. The person you loved is gone forever, yet someone who looks and sounds just like them stands on your doorstep every weekend and takes your kids away.

Yeah, shite happens, but it’s still shite.

Song of the day: Gotye “Somebody that I used to know”




8 thoughts on “Dividing the assets

  1. I know this isn’t anything like a marriage split but we’ve had a rift in the running group that I’ve run with for the last 8 years. The coach had a falling out with some of my friends. He now expects everyone to avoid these friends to prove that they’re on his side. It’s really awkward. I don’t want to have to pick sides because I like everyone (except the idiot checkout man who insists on trying to sign me up to the Rewards card – really don’t like him).

  2. Good on your bloody parents, Alana! My mum loves my ex husband. In fact I suspected for a long time she preferred him to me. Imagine how that made me feel. They have lunch regularly with him and his NEW WIFE! But… who really can be bothered. As long as I’m happy. ‘Move on’ is my mantra.

    • I reckon if A and I ever got divorced my folks would side with him as well Pinky ! No matter what happens, if I say it’s red and A says it’s black, my folks will agree with it being black even if it’s a local Aus Post post box or a fire engine or Santa at the end of the driveway !!!!!

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