I had the biggest grin on my face yesterday afternoon, despite the revolting Sydney weather. I finished work at 3.30pm and wandeed through the rainy streets for a haircut in Darlinghurst, happily anticipating the glass of wine and conversation I’d be sharing with DD at a bar later that evening.
Life felt good.
And the funniest thing happened. People started smiling back at me. At first I thought it was because my skirt was tucked into my undies or something, but then I realised it was because smiles are infectious.
The day didn’t start quite so well. When I flushed the toilet an enormous black spider fell from the rim, flailed its eight looooooong legs in the bowl before being swept away.
Now I know people tend to say a spider was enormous when it was really teensy, but I swear, this was one big mofo. It looked kinda like this …
I did one of those horror movie screams, despite my life no longer being in danger.
Just the THOUGHT that my delicate nethers had been perched within centimetres of THAT only moments earlier was enough to freak me out.
And now I’m annoyed.
As if I don’t have enough to do in the mornings already, what with all the plucking and flossing and spack-filling. Now I have to check under the bloody toilet seat every time I use it, which is, on average, around 20 times a day.
My second thought after flushing the mofo spider was: “Oh my god! I MUST tell the kids!”
Followed closely by “Oh my god, I must NEVER tell the kids!”
Can you imagine, being dragged into the toilet every time they need to use it to check for creepy crawlies?
I’m not alone in my pesky misadventure. Some scary things have turned up in people’s toilet bowls in Oz.
Earlier this year, Queensland resident Robert Eves discovered a 2.7m carpet python during a night-time trip to his cottage’s bathroom.
The Townsville Bulletin reports him saying: ”It was about 9pm and I was going to the bathroom.
”I saw a dark shape in the toilet, so I turned on the light to check what it was and there was the snake sitting quite happily in the bottom of the bowl.”
Argh, argh, ARGH!
Ever found something alive in your toilet?
Song of the day: Doctor Hook “Walk right in”