I seriously wonder what’s wrong with the world when I hear the news that 87,596 women signed up to Ashley Madison last week.
Unless you’ve been hiding under a very peaceful rock you’d have heard that the infidelity website just got hacked. Embarrassing personal data – including email addresses and sexual preferences – was leaked about millions of its clients.
Undaunted, almost 90,000 women thought Cool! Where do I sign up?
I’m presuming they …
a) hadn’t been previously aware that such a site existed … Awesome! There’s a website that will help me have an affair!
b) read that the site had about 31 million accounts belonging to men and only 5 million belonging to women …. Woo-hoo! Even better odds than moving to that mining town in Western Australia where there are 270.7 men per 100 women.
c) are morally flexible … Get me some of that adulterous lovin’!
e) all of the above.
I’ve been a little startled by all the stories popping up from people justifying being Ashley Madison users.
One woman told the New York Post that a lacklustre Mother’s Day – no chocolates or flowers 🙂 – prompted her to use the site: “The whole run-up to Mother’s Day had been depressing. It made me feel old, like I was losing my sexiness. My marriage was stuck in a rut.
“Even though it was a big deal for me to cheat on [my husband] Derek, I didn’t feel guilty. I finally felt alive and sexy again. I didn’t tell a soul — not even my best friends. It felt good having this big secret all to myself.
“I met and slept with two other men through Ashley Madison, and I’m currently chatting online with a few guys. Derek and I still have sex about once a week, and I’m afraid to say the sex hasn’t improved. But now that I’ve had my affairs, it doesn’t bother me as much. If there is one thing I’ve learned from the experience, it’s that mothers need to pamper themselves and have fun elsewhere if they don’t feel appreciated at home.”
Pamper themselves! Spare me.
You want pampering? Get a pedicure … and some marriage counselling.
Don’t shag someone else’s husband (or wife).
Otherwise karma might screw you.
OK, hit me with the justifications … someone always does …
Song of the day: George Michael “Careless Whisper”