This is what you’re missing


My kids have an awesome dad. He had some failings as a husband, but as a father he rocks.

He’s also a pretty great co-parent. We communicate most days about what the kids are doing, things they need, things they’ve forgotten.

Our exchanges are friendly and co-operative.

Sometimes they’re hilarious.

Here’s a text he sent earlier this week that cracked me up …

Youngest to eldest: “When did you see Insurgent? Because if you did, I am going to yell at you. And yell at mum. But mainly at you.” (She has now written “Insurgent” on her hand to remind herself to talk to you about it.)

There are benefits in retaining a relationship that’s comfortable enough to share those moments with each other.

No one thinks your kid is as fun, unique and amazing as that person who helped create them. Mothering would feel a bit empty sometimes if I couldn’t share stuff with their dad.

It breaks my heart when people are unnecessarily combative after marriages end. It does NO ONE any good. Not you. Not your ex partner. And certainly not the kids.

If you must do battle with your ex, keep your kids out of the combat zone.

Remember that famous excerpt from Irving Welsh’s Trainspotting: “Choose your future. Choose life… But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin’ else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you’ve got heroin?”

Insert “hate” instead of “heroin.”

Don’t be the person who chooses hate.

Choose the future.

Don’t be the one who dies a bitter, lonely death after succumbing to hate.

Move on.

Song of the day: Frankie Goes To Hollywood “Two Tribes”


6 thoughts on “This is what you’re missing

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  1. You and your ex have done an amazing thing. Civility is one thing in divorce but you’ve added respect and that makes it even better.

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