It won’t be enough – it’s never enough

The poorly youngest entered her third day of couch surfing yesterday, so mumma worked from home again.

It wasn’t a pretty sight. The Household’s single fan heater was trained on the patient as she watched tellie, while I sat shivering at the computer in the other room.

Think two jumpers, my fuzzy leopard-print dressing gown and ugg boots … and I was still freezing.

The things you do for love.

I also felt overwhelming guilt about parking the nine-year-old in front of the tellie for the day, but I had to work.

On Day One there wasn’t even time to sit with her for lunch because I was so crazy busy writing stories.

I know I shouldn’t give myself a hard time. I just spent the weekend with her at the ACT/NSW Rope Skipping Championships after all. Mind you, there wasn’t much quality time there either since it was tres embarrassing to have mum hanging around.

Geez the weeks fly by … when I noted it had been months since she’d played with the Wii the youngest noted “There’s never enough time.”

Gulp.

I think it’s a modern complaint. When I was a kid it felt like there was all the time in the world. The weeks crept by. It felt like an eternity until Christmas came around.

Then again, I’m pretty sure my only after-school activities were an eternity of failed attempts to teach me to swim at Les Lazarus.

I know my kids should do less, but there would be a mini-revolt if I tried to drop any of the youngest’s activities.

Fortunately, our Saturdays are slowly becoming sacred “at-home” days filled with ping pong matches, baking and DVDs. I can’t even tempt the kids to the movies or even out of their pyjamas.

And I’m finding myself looking forward to the slowness and simplicity of those days.

The school holidays are normally a time for extended bonding, but my ex mixed up the week he wanted to go away the kids, so he’s getting them for both (since I’d already organised a digital detox for the first week and I’m working full-time in the second).

I’ll squeeze in some stolen moments here and there, but it won’t be enough.

It’s never enough.

The eldest and I have been dreaming about hiring a campervan and driving around New Zealand. It’s second on our saving-up list behind a new car to replace the current failing rattler.

How lovely would that be to spend a few weeks road tripping together? A little daunting too, since their dad was usually behind the wheel on our previous adventures. But lovely nonetheless.

Better buy myself another lottery ticket …

Song of the day: The Cranberries “Dreams”

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