I just had the final inspection on my rental property yesterday and it totally sucked.
Prior to moving into the bloody place, I hadn’t rented for a long, long time.
I hope – after yesterday – that I never have to rent again.
The rental chick met me at the house and proceeded to go through it with a fine tooth comb for a full 60 minutes. It was excruciating. She ran her finger over every single surface and nit picked every single room.
I wouldn’t have minded so much if the place was a palace, but it’s not, it’s a total dump.
So I found myself arguing over whether each bit of its total dumpness had been there before I moved in or not. In every case she argued not.
Bizarrely, she didn’t notice the one way I DID desecrate the place: red wine stains on the carpet from the housewarming party. Go figure.
At one point she even insisted my rugs had left outlines on the living room carpet. The living room carpet is abysmal – stained and threadbare. I lived in the house mainly through winter, not much sun streams in … can a rug really leave an outline in six months?
The laundry is decrepit, with the bottom of the sink almost rusted away. She stood there arguing with me because underneath the rusted bit hadn’t been clean. The only reason you can see under the laundry sink is BECAUSE it’s almost completely rusted away.
Same thing goes for the bathroom. We hadn’t cleaned under the rotting sink. The only reason you can see under the rotting sink is because the skirting board thingy has fallen off and can be removed for nit picky agent inspections.
Etc etc etc.
She also pointed out every teeny weeny little weed in the scuzzy back courtyard and said they all had to go. Plus all the dead leaves under the shrubbery.
I was very smiley and polite and waved my cute puppy in her face a lot, but on the inside I was freaking SEETHING.
So today will be spent doing stupid cleaning and gardening at rental despite having already paid a freaking fortune for other people to do it for me. I suppose I could give the gardener and cleaner and earful but a) I’m not good with confrontation; and b) I think they did a pretty good job in the first place and c) I’m not entirely sure cleaners and gardeners can be recalled to the job on a Saturday with 12 hours notice and the keys have to be returned by this afternoon.
NEVER. RENTING. AGAIN.
Here’s the list from the property manager:
· Clean newly red mark on carpet in 2nd bedroom
· Repair/replace blind puller in 2nd bedroom
· Clean dishwasher
· Clean cupboard under sink, including the sink
· Clean & Dust laundry room e.g. shelves, underneath laundry tub
· Clean out toothpaste mark on drawers in bathroom
· Clean off mould around sealant of Bathroom/shower
· Have your gardener attend to the weeds in the back yard including weed spraying
· Gardener to also mow the lawn and trim any shrubbery that has grown out more
· Gardener to remove dead leaves in backyard
· Clean & dust stairs in 3rd bedroom
· Reattach any loose curtains
· Remove any cobwebs throughout
· Clean the bathroom vanity bottom where bottom timber is removable
· Patch/paint mark on dining wall (this is the one big section I pointed out to you)
· Clean around & sides of the oven
· Remove any insects/small spiders around property
It was accompanied by 10 depressing photos of the offending areas. It drove me to drink the Jim Beam cooking spirits in the pantry as the house is dry. Ewwwww. What are you supposed to drink Jim Beam with? All I had was orange juice. It didn’t go very well with orange juice.
Is that what it’s always like when you move out??
Song of the day: John Mellencamp “Pink Houses”