The Italian stallion


I started out depressed by RSVP, I’ve ended up entertained by it.

I think it’s because (I’ve realised) I’m not obsessed with getting a new partner. I just want to believe in the possibility of one.

I’m not scouring the listing of single men aged 45-55 who live in a 25km radius of me, desperately looking for love. I’m just putting a toe in the water.

That’s not to say I’m opposed to finding someone. Should Mr Right happen to “kiss” me, I’m not about to send him a “thanks but no thanks” message.

But it’s not knocking my self-confidence if guys don’t message back or a day passes without any new kisses.

It also means I don’t bother pretending. I call a spade a spade. I’m not spinning myself into some fantasy concoction in the hope of hooking them. If they don’t like my quirky banter, great, I don’t have to waste time having coffee with them.

I got a curious “kiss” last week from a 33-year-old Italian bloke who moved to Sydney three  years ago and is looking to make “new friends”. He notes in his profile: “I am the man with magic or at least this is what they say about me.”

The Italian stallion’s accompanying message said: “I don’t think we are suited but I wanted to let you know that you’ve got a great profile!”

Now, I don’t know how he sent that message, since I can’t find it in the stock list of kisses. Maybe he IS the man with the magic?

Sadly, I won’t get the chance to find out, as he’s already decided we’re not suited. But, on the positive side, I’ve got a great profile!

I’d been fretting – a little – about my profile because it’s brief and doesn’t give much away. I checked out my competition and it’s all “stood on the global podiums, worked under the Sahara sun, now lead a professional normal life, waiting for your entry to close it” and “Somewhere out there is the man of my dreams, is that you?” and “life is a rollercoaster inside a maze” and “if i could arrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together” and “there’s a lot of superficial snobs on here … are you one??” and “I’ll try it once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.”

Actually, I could just keep on listing them … they’re FASCINATING.

I’m also wondering if the woman who gave herself the profile name “Swallow2” really thought it through.

Back to the bloke side of RSVP: the site recently suggested someone it thinks is a perfect match for me. I checked his profile and he’s “ready to explore and create mischief with someone really insane.” He works “in finance” and has “plenty of time to escape during the day.”

I’m guessing he’s not looking for anything long term …

As for the guy who “kissed” me, then joined the “Casual Liaisons” group a few minutes later (RSVP helpfully updates you on the movements of everyone who kisses you) … I’m thinking he’s not looking for anything long term either.

Flipping heck, it’s a jungle out there.

Song of the day: Dean Martin “That’s amore”




4 thoughts on “The Italian stallion

  1. You should run a comp on your blog for who can write the best profile for you Alana. As you know I met Scotto on the Internet and his line was “Are you looking for a birdhouse in your soul?” which I thought was interesting. Because he’d taken his profile picture as a selfie in his car, for some (shallow, idiotic) reason I assumed he was a taxi driver. But even though I wasn’t specifically looking for a taxi driver his line was enough to get my interest. He isn’t a taxi driver… duh… but the song the quote came from… “Birdhouse in My Soul” by They Might Be Giants was played when we were married. The secret (I believe) is to steer away from what you had (in my case it was straight-laced conservatism) and venture out of your comfort zone. Just a thought. And don’t worry about a 25 km radius. Scotto lived over 1000 miles away. Love ya x

    • I love the Birdhouse comment. That would definitely get my attention too. LOVE They Might Be Giants. They did a few kids albums and we watched them perform live at Columbia University when we lived in New York. Amazing

  2. Notwithstanding Pinky’s excellent advice, hang out for someone who does appreciate your ‘quirky banter’ Alana. If they don’t do irony or flippancy, they’re probably not worth that coffee! 🙂

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