Is House really going home?

what's next

Oddly enough, on this day last year I was pondering my future. And today I am too.

Last year I found myself unexpectedly unemployed. This year I’m on the brink of unemployment by design. In less than a month I’ll be a stay-at-home mum. It’s exciting and scary in equal parts.

Here’s what I had to say about the situation when it was forced upon me last year:

Most achievements in my life have been spurred on by an “I’ll show you!” attitude.

When I was a teenager, my parents and The Newcastle Star newspaper suggested I wasn’t cut out to be a journalist (too shy). I thought “I’ll show you!” and got myself a cadetship at The Newcastle Herald.

When I was retrenched from my first magazine job, I thought “I’ll show you!” and nabbed a gig at Cosmopolitan magazine.

When the editor disregarded me as a mousy little thing, I thought “I’ll show you!” and climbed through the ranks to deputy editor.

When I wasn’t progressing from deputy editor, I thought “I’ll show you!” and moved to Singapore to edit a magazine there.

And so on …

But it didn’t seem to matter what I achieved in my career, I always felt like a failure. Working in Singapore and New York, editing Woman’s Day when it was selling 540,000 copies a week, being promoted to editorial director of Woman’s Day, Take 5 and TV Week magazines, creating a series of children’s cookbooks … none of it reassured me that I’d done OK.

Now, as I sit pondering my next move, I don’t have any more “I’ll show you”s in me. Thumbing my nose at my doubters isn’t holding the same attraction. Triumphing over my adversaries seems equally meaningless.

A year later, I no longer want to work in magazines, or prove anything to the people who still do. At least, I’m pretty sure I don’t. I mean, never say never, but social media is so much fun it would feel a bit weird going back. And I’m not the same person I was back then, all raw and angry.

As for the “I’ll show you” streak that runs through me … hmmmm …

So what’s next? Who knows. For the moment House Is Going Home Again.

And I’m really looking forward to it. Especially the holiday I have planned with Husband and the kids in January.

As for whether I’m really cut out for the whole stay-at-home mum gig, I’ll keep you posted.

What are your plans for 2014? Got any yet? 

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10 thoughts on “Is House really going home?

  1. This have given me my biggest smile of a whole two weeks. I miss you wonderful lady. You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself. You can be what ever you want to be. We must have a hangout either on SKype or Google Plus soon. I thought of you when I wrote about The Croods.

  2. All the best for this next phase of your life Alana. It can be anything you want it to be! You are on the verge of an amazing new phase. Maybe now you can strategise some of those amazing business ideas you have! You could write a novel drawing on all your interesting work experiences. Yes, please keep us posted on how it all goes. 2014 for me means searching for more paid work (I have done a bit of freelance book editing work this year) for financial reasons. I’m not sure what form it’s going to take – whether it’s working for myself or flexible hours in a part-time job. Since becoming a mum, I’ve known that a permanent full-time job is not for me. However, as I am now a single parent, it may have to be a reality. I have loved being able to do reading groups and volunteer at school events this year for my son’s first year at school. I would love to continue to be a stay-at-home-mum and always be there for school pick-up and just write what I want to write, but again, it’s the old dollars and cents getting in the way of that dream. Oh well, we can only just do our best! Balance/juggle…etc. Wishing you all the best.

  3. Hi love, you know I have always been a fan! I just wish you all the best for whatever you do in the future, you’ll always be a star. Enjoy your life! Love you, Di xxxx

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