The truth hurts (and it’s UGLY)

I got off a plane at 6am yesterday and scored the most beautiful run through the airport – straight up to a bloke at border control, bag off the carousel within 10 minutes, straight through customs … so I figured I deserved a shower and a hug. I took a deep breath and paid for a freaking expensive cab ride home. (I’d previously been planning to catch the train straight to work. Man, I’d have SMELLED.)

I saw Husband and the kids for fully 10 minutes before they scooted off to band practice/work, then I got ready for work and tottered into the sunlight.

It was a bit hard to tell where the laryngitis ended and the jetlag began. So I dosed myself up on caffeine and faced the day. And school pick-up. And art class/skipping drop off. And art class/skipping pick-up. (The art class teacher noted “Are you sick? Wow you’ve had some bad luck this term.” Yes. I. Have.) And holiday gift giving. And dinner. And bedtime rituals … before finally I collapsed in bed myself.

I decided my crookness was leaning more to the laryngitis side of the spectrum than jetlag when I refused the glass of wine Husband offered.

This morning confirms the diagnosis. After 8 hours sleep I am still peaky. It’s shaping up to be a “working from home” day.

Answering people’s queries yesterday about whether I had a good time on the trip was … fraught. Do you just lie and croak “fantastic!”? I think maybe you do. So much easier, more polite, less likely to sound like you’re an over-privileged crank. Instead I said “weeeelllll, I was sick most of the time. But I met a man in a sloth suit, so it wasn’t all bad.”

And I did do some AMAZING stuff while I was there (in addition to hugging a man in a sloth suit), which I will tell you all about when the cone of secrecy is lifted by the PR department that sent me.

But right now it feels like I’d rather never leave home again, even if it means dying without seeing another GAP sales rack.

Mind you, those orange chinos I got for $19.99 are pretty damn AWESOME. And the orange sneakers … perfection!

Are you a good traveller?

PS I Googled “laryngitis” in search of pics to illustrate this … and let me tell you: don’t. People’s throats are not pretty places. Oh, I can’t help myself, here’s an example …