OK, this story is a bit infamous in my world. So forgive me if you’ve already heard it. It even featured in the groom’s wedding speech when my sister tied the knot. The essence of it was that I had met his biggest crush – other than my sister – Kylie Minogue, and she was BORING.
I faintly remember the gist of it being “WTF – how could one of the bridesmaids at my wedding think someone with a butt that cute was boring”.
But she was.
Well, around me anyway. And I prefer to think it was a self-preservation tactic. After all, I am a journalist. Why would Kylie Minogue trust a journalist? Better to keep zipped, be dull.
I was in Los Angeles for a photo shoot. I think it was with Christina Applegate. Not enough happened during the Christina Applegate shoot to warrant a Flashback Friday, other than her going COMPLETELY MENTAL when the song “Fat Boy Slim is f#cking in heaven, f#cking in, f#cking in …” came on and demanding it be turned off AT ONCE and me not being able to find the off switch fast enough and … I’ve blanked the rest out. Way too traumatic.
Anyway, the photographer was dating Lucy Lui at the time, and Kylie Minogue was staying at his place. So he called them both up and invited them out with me and my gorgeous friend Ken, who was the stylist on the shoot.
I was wetting my pants at this point.
Lucy said she’d rather him come over for a quiet night. All I heard from his side of the phone conversation was: “Why would I want to stay in when I could go out with my friends?”
Or something like that, which I thought was pretty bolshie when he was dating someone as hot as Lucy Lui. And a bit disappointing when I’d already been counting on retelling the story of a lifetime – I WENT TO DINNER WITH KYLIE MINOGUE AND LUCY LUI!!!!
Kylie, on the other hand, was keen for a night out. So we met at a restaurant called Little Door for dinner. Well, Kylie didn’t order dinner, just dessert – a creme brulee – and offered to share it with us. That was pretty much the sum total of her conversation, she just sat there whispering in her photographer mate’s ear the rest of the time.
I can’t remember if I took up Kylie’s creme brulee offer, but I do remember being impressed she ate sugar when she was that tiny. We’d done a photo shoot with her a few weeks earlier and the size 8 denim shorts we dressed her in (the smallest Aussie designers made back then, ah the good ol’ days) had to be bulldog clipped at the back to stop them falling around her ankles.
Oh, and that’s the other thing – no cute little shorts and sparkly tops for Kylie for dinner. She wore a big, baggy, high-necked jumper.
Halfway through the boring Kylie dinner I pootled off to the bathroom and met a lively lass called Roma Downey in the queue. I had no idea who she was, but it turned out she was the star of a show called Touched By An Angel … and she had a limo waiting outside.
Well hell-o Roma!
She was there with her publicist – who also happened to manage Joshua Jackson – my then massive crush from Dawson’s Creek. Double woo-hoo.
So we talked our way into a ride in her limo to … wherever …
Our photographer friend was keen as mustard too, and asked Kylie if she wanted to come. Kylie said she’d just give her boyfriend, Slick the model (really), a call and ask if he wanted to join us. But Slick was tired and fancied a quiet night in. Kylie shrugged and decided to join us. She was driving a rental and asked if anyone wanted a lift.
Now there’s a dilemma you don’t face every day – a lift in Kylie’s rental or a ride in a celeb’s limo …
The photographer squawked: “Why would I want a lift with you when I could go in a limo?”
Fair enough.
So we all piled in the limo and headed off into the night. A forlorn Kylie followed behind us, her head barely visible above the steering wheel.
We pulled up at Bar Marmont and were refused entry – it was hosting the launch party for Kate Winslet’s movie, Holy Smoke.
The bouncers had no idea who Kylie Minogue or Roma Downey were, so their desperate pleas for entry were rejected.
Ooooh, I thought from the back of the limo – there’s a comedown for Kylie …
So we decided on Cindy Crawford’s hubby’s joint, The Whiskey Bar, instead.
We walked through the door and – eeek – Kylie spotted Slick … chatting up a pneumatic blonde at the bar …
So much for wanting an early night …
What is it with Kylie and her men? She sure knows how to pick ’em.
My darling Ken spent the rest of the night consoling Kyles in the corner while I gave Joshua Jackson’s publicist the third degree.
I’ve occasionally wondered if I should have paid more attention to Kylie that night, since I was never going to get another chance to “party” with her. But she was kinda … boring …
And Roma and Joshua’s publicist were WAY more fun.
THE END
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