My week: bingles, conspiracy theories, tears and a clacker confession

I kicked off the week with a car crash – a galoot with a ciggie in one hand and a mobile phone in the other ran up the back of my bomb. Yay … actually, booooo. Read about it by clicking here.

I reminisced about a harrowing weekend when we sewed monsters then a doddery old doctor had to sew Sprog 1’s head in Time Warp Tuesday: Monster Head Wounds.

I discovered a British artist who creates my kind of masterpieces … paparazzi photos that raise “questions about whether we can believe what we see when we live in a mediated world of screens, imagery and internet. She comments on our voyeurism, on the power and seductive nature of imagery, and on our need to believe.” Read more by clicking here.

And I noted that you should “not give me a compliment under any circumstances. I’ll just say something like `This old thing?’ or `It really needs a trim’ or `I forgot to add enough salt’. And we’ll both feel awkward and embarrassed. So let’s just agree, right here and now, that compliments are completely wasted on me.” If you’re not very good at receiving compliments, you’ll relate to my post Uncomplimentary Behaviour.

In my weekly gossip round-up, Posh smiled, Alec Baldwin blew his chances at a career in politics and Kristen Bell proposed (again) to her fiance for the sweetest reason. Read all the juicy stuff by clicking here.

And I fantasised about the under-the-sea treats I’ll make for the pool party I’m dying to hold (if I just had a bloody pool). How cute are these clam bikkies?

Over at iVillage …

Is this the world’s most unforgettable wedding? Watch the awesome video here >> http://bit.ly/12qY9lp

After seeing my kids’ mid-year report cards I was all fist-pumpy about the mum who wrote a blog post called: “My kid isn’t special and neither is yours”  >> http://bit.ly/11OYlfq

You really need to meet the Featherstones – a married couple who have dressed in identical outfits… every day… for 35 years (the pics are awesome) >>http://bit.ly/12rEt0u

Things got seriously weird with this story …

Very rarely do we get a glimpse into a baby’s life inside the womb. Click to see an incredible birth photo that does just that >> http://bit.ly/12qZokl

Someone commented on Mamamia: “Oldest. Story. Ever.” And I felt like replying: “Who made you the sour police?” People think they’re been oh-so cool but it just makes them look mean-spirited. Honestly people on social media make my jaw ache from clenching it sometimes.

Although she had nuthin’ on the woman who commented: “Did you know that when you register your babys live bith with the government they create a bond and float it on the stock exchange and make money of it till the day of death.The birth certificate is a reciept for that bond and thats why all birth certificates have bar codes and numbers on them, it so if you figure out the system it makes you the owner of it and not the government. All countries have been doing this since 1933… and yes it is how they make you a slave…”

Seriously, she did. Don’t you just love her? And I totally adored the woman who commented after that: “Let me guess; the Illuminati are behind this. I blame Lady Gaga.”

OK, maybe social media doesn’t make my jaw ache so much after all.

One mum shared how the United States Supreme Court’s decision yesterday to strike down the Defense of Marriage Act – a federal law signed 17 years ago that defined marriage as only being between a man and a woman – has brought infinite joy to her family >> http://bit.ly/11Kp3cw

I was awed by the actions of Texan Senator Wendy Davis, who stood and spoke for 13 hours to prevent most abortion clinics in Texas being closed – and so was Hollywood. Click to read how celebrities responded to her inspiring filibuster >> http://bit.ly/12lZfDg#standwithwendy

I was way less impressed with the actions of politicians in Australia. Geez what a terrible choice to have to make: Tony Abbott or Kevin Rudd. I announced on Facebook that the big question in my mind is… What to bake for the election day cake stall at the kids’ school? Here are the recipes I’m voting for >>http://bit.ly/10m86Ee

I wrote this tear-jerker: His wife died in his arms, in the most tragic circumstances (an epileptic nun was involved) so he’s started a crusade in her name. Here’s how YOU can help him >> http://bit.ly/12eZPT4

This story TOTALLY FREAKED ME OUT – the one mummy you NEVER want to encounter at P&C meetings… http://bit.ly/1a64JqC (hint think ancient Egyptian curses …)

As a Facebook follower Leanne noted: “OMG, Alana. I Googled your condition. There were PHOTOS!! No wonder there isn’t a Sprog 3 lol.”

Fortunately I spared people photos of my clacker in the actual story, although my pregnant belly was pretty impressive (note that Sprog 1 was working on her teen angst schtick from a very early age).

I still can’t quite believe our 18 slow-cooker recipes gallery has had more than 100,000 views, so I found 9 more dishes for readers to try >> http://bit.ly/1agQIWU

The two most popular stories on the site this week (aside from gossip and slow-cooker recipes) were:

“I regret being a stay at home mum” >> http://bit.ly/1cbVnWJ You just have to see that heading to know why it went gangbusters.

And Mary Coustas’s absolutely gutting revelation about losing her triplet babies. So many tears were shed by the more than 12,000 people who read the story >> http://bit.ly/1a5zko0

PS On a happier note, my lovely new workmate, Tegan, created this nifty begging pic for iVillage on Facebook …