My week: two stoushes and a naked wedding

I started the week a Hollow Husk following a weekend crammed with the birth of Kim Kardashian’s baby, Nigella Lawson’s “playful tiff” with her husband and the release of Curtis Stone’s wedding photos. I decided to cover them all on iVillage in addition to spending quality time with my family, so things got a mite frenetic.  To cut a long story short, my Monday blog was about a year-old case of writer’s block that included rambling about penis chocolates, massages with happy endings (for women), and vagina buffets. Actually, when I write it like that, perhaps it should have come with an R rating …

Then I confessed how much I was enjoying/hating Letting Myself Go. I can’t tell you what a revelation elasticised clothes and flat shoes have been since I went back to work.  I may never wear a waisted pant again.

I committed a social media sin in The Blame Game and made a few men very cross in the process.

Husband told the youngest that “There is no way Mum is getting a pool”. And I begged to differ.

And we rounded out the week with me thinking Husband was Dead in a ditch somewhere, which people enjoyed thoroughly on Facebook, saying:  “You’ve put a huge smile on my face” and  “My day has got off on a jolly start thanks to this blog post!” let me tell you, it wasn’t very funny when I was telling him off about it.

Oh, and I blogged HouseGoesHollywood: celebs give it away for free, RIP James, Kim called her baby WHAT? and 6 Marvellous Muffin Recipes yesterday.

Over at iVillage … I ended the week by having a verbal fisticuffs with a lass who took issue with my friend Jodie’s blog “I thought parenting rules were universal, until I moved to Jordan”. She wrote: “You’ve got to be kidding me. Are you aware that this is in fact NOT Australia, but Jordan, and more than likely not a 1st world country – as we have here. Tooth decay? Not visiting a dentist?! You’re kidding. They’re in a THIRD world country. Get a grip.”

And:  “PS You sound like a rude, condescending person – comparing your sons lifestyle to that of a third world country?”

As another reader pointed out: “I know many jordanians that would be more offended being referred to as third world…that categorisation was made during the Cold War…I could be wrong but knowing many Jordanians and being middle eastern myself I feel the article would make those who understand giggle…if anything, they would be giggling at the writer trying to fit in…but that’s just my view…”

I got a bit cross myself, pointing out: “Nicole, comparisons were the whole point of the article. She’s just moved to a foreign country – not a third world one, by the way – and she’s noticing the differences. Are you saying you would move somewhere like that and NOT notice??”

And I was all knotted up for the rest of the night about it. I really need to learn to let it go.

Also at iVillage my favourite stories of the week were …

This boy’s parents demanded his class photo be re-taken. This is why >> http://bit.ly/12MiRlC

Facebook may be banning breastfeeding photos, but in the 1850s they were celebrated – click to read more about this amazing Victorian era fad >> http://bit.ly/192VGqN

It had to happen. First came cat bearding… now dog bearding is doing the rounds. These photos are priceless >>http://bit.ly/1bY97nW

Ever clicked “like” on a ‘sick child’ photo on Facebook? You need to read this story. http://bit.ly/10yOfUv

Always loved Cabbage Patch Dolls? Now you can own a real, human one… by putting one of these wigs on your baby. (Or not…) >> http://bit.ly/14JeQgU

There’s no easy way to say this but… my biggest fear has been realised. No, not the shark in the pool thing – THIS. >>http://bit.ly/16MwCjo

Are the gifts flat-packed? Are meatballs on the menu? These are just some of the questions we have about the bizarre new trend of getting married at IKEA… http://bit.ly/13STET5

And, planning your wedding? Click here for some wacky photoshoot inspiration >> http://bit.ly/19cmQYJ

PS Oh and I was also admonished for canvassing suggestions on what to do about my broken glasses on iVillage’s Facebook page.  (Stood on them in my ugg boots, snapped the arm off, grrrr, brand new, they were.) Taylor wrote: “Dear Alana – ivillage’s Facebook page shouldn’t be your personal advice page.”

Why not Taylor? Why the F not?

I think she realised the churlishness of her ways, because she deleted the comment almost immediately afterwards.

HOW’S YOUR WEEK BEEN?