It’s hard to believe it’s been a whole year since I went on my first cruise since I was a scotch & Coke-addled 21-year-old. Way back then I looked like this:
His name was Marty … he was from Brisbane … just LOOK at those arms I was rocking …
The second time around I looked like this:
Just me, my tuckshop arms and a towel rabbit … Ain’t old age a bitch?
Anyways this is what my first middle-aged 24 hours on a cruise looked like, from a blog I wrote called Lots of B Words: “Last night after a delectable Kahlua Butterball (which Sister assures me is usually called a Cocksucking Cowboy, but this is a family cruise), I took a weary Sprog 2 back to our cabin for an early night while the rest of our party adjourned to the Aurora Theatre for “Production Showtime starring The Royal Caribbean Singers and Dancers with The Radiance of the Seas Orchestra in Piano Man” (catchy), a tribute to the music of Billy Joel, Elton John, Stevie Wonder and Barry Manilow. I consoled myself with the knowledge I’d be catching the Fabba Abba tribute tomorrow night, plus I’d already enjoyed a stirring rendition of “I Just Called To Say I Love You” in the piano bar on my way to the Captain’s welcome drinks (the prospect of free champagne marred slightly by thinking I’d lost our new camera, dashing distraught to guest relations, tottering empty-handed back to the cabin, sobbing brokenly on the bed and finally discovering it in a secret compartment in my iPad bag). And so ended our first full day at sea. The Sprogs are in heaven, they keep wondering why Daddy didn’t want to come because cruises are AWESOME. And can they go on another one again soon? Pleasy please? Let’s just see how day three pans out – boot camp, buffet, barbecue, bingo, Butterballs … bring it on!”
There was a Celebrity Cruises ship in port as my bus idled in a traffic jam on the Harbour Bridge last night. How I wished I was onboard sipping a Butterball (or three). I could probably give “Production Showtime starring The Royal Caribbean Singers and Dancers with The Radiance of the Seas Orchestra in Piano Man” a miss though …
housegoeshome 
I’ve always found the idea of a cruise a bit scary – something to do with not being able to get off the boat when you want to. Having said that the Barry Manilow just might sway me.
BTW – You look gorgeous then and now! But I wanna hear more about Marty. He looks like Rick Astley.
Ah, Marty … he wasn’t interested in me at all. Sadly. My sister and I were on the cruise and met 4 boys from Brissie. Had a great time drinking their duty free spirits! But no romance. Cruises are weird. Sort of just waiting for cocktail hour and the next meal. But I found the nighttime shows oddly entertaining. I suppose I don’t get out much these days.