My week has been more ridiculous than Lady Gaga’s gold-plated wheelchair. Here’s what went down …
I reminisced about a rather colourful conversation about murder that I overheard on a jail visit in a post called “Mammoths Murder & Fuzzy Bedsocks”. My mum called me this morning to tell me it was HILARIOUS. OK, she’s related to me, but it’s all I got. Give it a read a tell me if you agree or she’s just biased.
I was appalled at the way Kourtney Kardashian’s bloke body shamed her for not losing her baby weight fast enough. He really is REVOLTING. But, as some people pointed out, all the Kardashians and their hangers on are. And on so many levels. I’ve never watched their shows, but you just have to cast your eye over Kim Kardashian’s “vampire facial” for confirmation.
I came to the terrible realisation that I had three roosters to dispose of/relocate, in a blog called An Even Bigger Cock-Up. And Husband offered – really casually – to wring their necks. And I wondered who the hell I’d married.
Gwyneth Paltrow admitted to letting her kids go hungry by withholding carbs. I was a bit horrified, aren’t you?
I read a story about giving birth in the ’80s and saw a video about giving birth in the 60s. Both of them scared the bejesus out of me. So I shared the freaky bits in this blog. And a commenter completely floored me with the news that “my brother has Downs Syndrome and [my mum] wasn’t even told at the hospital! They gave my dad a letter about it and told him to open it in 3 weeks!!!!”
Jessica Biel, Jason Bateman and Matt Damon went on a toilet strike. The videos they’ve made to announce their ban are hilarious (I’m tempted to say they’re a cack …) See them here.
Neil Finn followed me on Twitter and I almost required resuscitation. Read about it here. Although I feel a bit upstaged by the commenter who revealed: “I got a tweet from Spandau Ballet’s Gary Kemp and he retweeted my review of his autobiography.”
Charlie Sheen marked The National Day Of Action Against Bullying and Violence by urging his millions of Twitter followers to do terrible things to a nine-year-old accused of bullying his daughter. Read about it here. I also giggled at the Facebook commenter who wrote: “It’s better to be quiet and have people think that you are an idiot, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
I wrote about The Surprising Connection Between Celebrity Babies and John Travolta’s Sexuality here. It was based on a speech I saw by my gossip hero Lainey about how celeb gossip is good for society. And not one single person commented on it. You can change that …
I wondered Was This Woman A Victim of “Birth Rape” or Just Irresponsible? after she refused an emergency caesarean. Most people were on Team Irresponsible.
I discussed Why The Vaccination Debate Is Over and opened the floodgates to the anti-vax brigade, who turn out to be every bit as rabid as the lactivists and the fativists.
I marvelled at the bloke who proposed at the bottom of Sydney Harbour. Read about it here.
I spluttered a bit over this video about safe sex when you’re old … although I really should have been paying attention since I’m 45 today. And tomorrow I will officially be closer to 50 than 40. Eeek!
I smiled in delight at the moonwalking shetland pony dancing to Fleetwood Mac. You have to see it! Click here. My kids also adored the pony mash-up you can customise at the end.
Last but not least, I forced ivillage celebrate St Patricks Day (and my birthday) with me by running a gallery of Irish dessert recipes. Check it out as an extra-special treat to me – so they don’t think I’m crazy, well, not quite as crazy – by clicking here. Go, on … I don’t ask for much …
Actually, I do. I have lots of other suggestions on what you can do to make me feel loved on my birthday. Check them out here.
How’s your week been?
housegoeshome 
Happy birthday for yesterday!
Thx Alexis!