Going at it like rabbits


Someone’s getting a lot of action in the Household at the moment. And it’s not me.

Mr Frodo Bunnykins is IN DEMAND.

It’s hardly surprising – he’s pretty damn cute.

The shagging festival began while he was being bunnysitted the other weekend. I got a text message from the school mum who’d volunteered to look after him: “Who’s been training your bunny?!! He is very frisky. Emma and Ella gave the rabbits a playdate together today. Let’s just say I hope Munchkin isn’t pregnant as the alimony on a dozen babies would be pretty pricey. He jumped her in seconds …”

Naturally. He’s a boy bunny, Munchkin is a girl bunny (admittedly twice his size, you go tiger!) What did Emma and Ella think would happen on a unisex bunny playdate? OK, OK, maybe 8-year-olds can be forgiven for their naivety … But dads who were supervising …

We are still awaiting any gestational results of the encounter. I will argue strenuously in court that alimony/kitten support not be provided. At least not by me.

Last week, I got another text, from another school mum: “Lisa told me that you have a male rabbit. We have two females and are thinking of giving them the experience of having babies. Would your rabbit be interested to assist?”

Would he what!

Her bunnies – again – are much bigger than Frodo, which I flagged as a potential problem ( hazy as I am on rabbit reproductive organs/methods). But she was upbeat: “I am sure we can give it a go.”

So we (or should I say Frodo) are giving it a go next week.

I’m not quite sure how I’ll explain the ins and outs of what’s happening (so to speak) to the Sprogs, I’ll just take it as it comes (so to speak).

In other procreational news, Henny Penny is still sitting on her eggs. We’ve lost two – one broke, the other … I’m not sure … fingers crossed we didn’t scramble it for breakfast. But the remaining four seem toasty warm and happy. Should they not hatch, a friend tells me if I shove day-old chicks under her in the middle of the night she’ll wake up the next morning and go “ooooh, I’ve had babies, awesome!”

Hence the expression bird-brained.

Any new additions to your family recently?

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