HouseGoesHollywood: scuffle at the Jackson mansion, Madonna defies gun ban

Poor, deluded Lindsay

Gotta love a girl who believes in herself. Lindsay Lohan tweeted yesterday: “Jennifer Lawrence in “The Hunger Games” is genius. I want to do Thelma&Louise w/her but ala Natural Born Killers (style wise) 2 girls-2 guys”

D-listed.com cracked me up – as usual – with its take on the fabulous idea: “That last part sounds like what she ordered from the escort service last night.

Jennifer Lawrence and Oliver Stone probably texted “BITCH IS CRAZY” and “I NO RITE?” to each other after seeing that. There is no way in hades that Katniss Everdeen is going to deign to do a film with Linds’ crackers, no-talent ass. The only way Katniss would ever appear with her on camera is if Lindsay murdered someone with her car and Jennifer happened to be in the background of the crime scene photos.

“I’d watch this movie, though. If it was a documentary. And they started at the end. And Jennifer rolled out of the car before it went off the cliff.”

Get Ralph Fiennes a razor!

While we’re on the subject of catty blogs, Celebitchy, is heartbroken over how Ralph Fiennes looked at a recent film festival in Croatia. And I’m a bit gutted too. Like Celebitchy, Ralph was one of my crushes in the 90s. Now? Well, I’ll leave it to Celebitchy to explain: “He looks like – and I’m really sorry if some of you are offended by this stereotype – my idea of an Cold War communist “intellectual” from the USSR.  Like, is he supposed to be giving me Vladimir Lenin vibes?  *shiver* Just so you know, I would probably still hit it, but at this point it’s more of a nostalgia-bone than anything else.”

Check him out by clicking here.

SCUFFLE AT THE JACKSON MANSION

Geez the Jackson family is weird. Oh, sorry, I’m not telling you anything you didn’t already know … OK, well … Katherine Jackson – Michael’s mother – went “missing” last week. Her nephew, Trent, filed a missing person’s report with the Los Angeles police over the weekend.

But it turned out the 82-year-old was just on holidays in Arizona with her daughter Rebbie.

What I find disturbing is that Katherine is the legal guardian of Michael’s three children – Blanket, Prince Michael and Paris – yet the kids had no idea where she was. Paris wrote on Twitter last week that she was worried about Katherine. “yes, my grandmother is missing. i haven’t spoken with her in a week i want her home now.”

See, this is what happens when you make an octogenarian a legal guardian. They forget things. Like how to operate the microwave and telling the kids they’re going on holidays indefinitely.

Apparently the drama is due to in-fighting over Michael’s will, with five of his siblings claiming it’s a fake. Don’t you hate what fighting about money can do to families?

Breaking news: Radaronline.com is reporting that Jermaine, Randy and Janet Jackson have been thrown out of their mother’s house in California by security guards after attempting to remove Michael Jackson’s kids against their will.

“The plan to take the kids out of the house was going to be a publicity stunt,” Radaronline reports. “The kids were going to be paraded into the house in Arizona where Katherine is staying and those photos would be published on a website favored by Randy Jackson.”

You know, call me cynical, but I can’t see this ending well.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WESTBORO BAPTISTS?

The charming folk at Westboro Baptist Church have been at it again – this time they tried to picket a prayer vigil for the victims of the Batman shooting in Colorado.

Presumably because some of the victims were gay? How about the one who was six years old?

Using the hashtag #ThankGodForTheShooter, Examiner.com reports members tweeted out their plans to “super picket” the candle lit prayer service, saying “God is at work in Colorado.”

The Westboro blog had a short post which started with the line: “God Sent The Shooter to Aurora, CO. He killed 12 and injured 50+ Westboro Baptist Church prays for more dead.”

God help us all.

Madonna defies gun ban

Someone else not showing much compassion in the aftermath of the Batman shootings is Madonna. She defied a ban by the police and waved fake machine guns and pistols on stage at her show in Scotland on Saturday. Law enforcement officers felt it would be inappropriate for Madonna to toting weapons in public so soon after the tragedy, but she ignored them.

“Madonna would rather cancel her show than censor her art,” a member of her tour staff told The Huffington Post. “Her entire career, she has fought against people telling her what she can and cannot do. She’s not about to start listening to them now.”

You know, sometimes it’s not about censoring your art, it’s about digging around in your cold, bone-and-gristle body for some empathy, Madonna.

Barry Humphries makes a Great Goblin

I didn’t know Barry Humphries was voicing the Great Goblin in The Hobbit. Did you know Barry Humphries was voicing the Great Goblin in The Hobbit? If you are as excited about seeing the movie next year as I am, click through to The Huffington Post here to view some of the latest production videos that have been released.

Zoolander 2 where are you?

Unlike The Hobbit, we won’t be seeing Zoolander 2 any time soon because Ben Stiller is having issues with the screenplay. “We have a script, as we’ve had for a little while, and it’s not quite coming together right now, but I hope it does,” Stiller told Collider. “I would like to do it at some point in the future.”

Still, it’s comforting to know that Ben, Owen Wilson and Will Ferrell are all signed up and ready to go when Ben irons the kinks out.

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