I don’t normally get girl crushes, I’m more a left-of-field-boy-crush gal. For those who’ve missed my crush list, here it is again, in chronological order: Kevin Bacon, Neil Finn, Chris Evans (cute blonde boy in year 12), Michael J. Fox, Michael Damian, several boys I snogged in alleys around the Crazy Horse Nightclub in the early ’90s, David Duchovny and David Tennant. When I fall, I fall hard. I devote endless, pointless hours to fantasising about the object of my affections. When I run out of fantasies, I adjourn to magazines, Google and youTube in search of inspiration (if they happen to be famous, if not I rely on chance meetings). I’d be lost without my boy crushes, domain.com and sugar-free V for adrenalin rushes. I should point out – just in case Husband happens to read this – that I don’t wish to shag any of my boy crushes. Well, I might consider David Tennant. But generally, my crushes are theoretical. One of my real-life boy crushes offered sex in a car many moons ago and I was like eeeeewwwww, no thanks, how tawdry … Anyway … occasionally I have fantasies about talented women. Not the sexual type, sorry boys, more the wish-I-could-write-like-them type. My most recent femme obsessions are Tina Fey and Mrs Woog. You’ve probably heard of Tina Fey, of Saturday Night Live and 30 Rock fame. She’s smart, she’s funny and she’s not cookie-cutter cute. If you haven’t heard of Mrs Woog, you must check her out. She’s my queen of Aussie blogging. She is hilarious. Read http://www.woogsworld.com/2012/03/snouts-and-assholes.html and weep … with laughter. Last night I got to meet Mrs Woog. In the flesh. In real life. Oh my god! It was at the Kidspot 50 Top Bloggers of 2012 cocktail party. I was scared Mrs Woog wouldn’t be there because she wasn’t on the list. I hoped it was a mistake. Mrs Woog is THE top blogger in Australia. I crossed my fingers she wasn’t eligible because she’d won last year or something, but would attend in an honorary capacity. I arrived at the function unfashionably early, as is my cross to bear in life. I heard someone yell out “Woogsy” to a woman across the room and I got all tingly and excited and tried not to stare like a crazy fan girl. A bit later, I was introduced to Woogsy, who gave me a polite, cursory smile, then got on with her gig as official interviewer of the 50 Top Bloggers. And I got on with drinking as much champagne as possible to bestill my beating heart. Finally, it was my special moment with Mrs Woog. First she asked for my big tip on successful blogging and I said not to make family and friends froth with fury about stuff you reveal about them. (I wish I’d remember to follow my own advice.) I explained that while it wouldn’t increase your page views, it would avoid divorce and excommunication. Then she asked about my favourite blogger and I started drunkenly blathering about how funny and wonderful and inspirational she was. She gave me a big hug afterwards, but I worried she thought I was a total nutter. So I drank lots more champagne and a strange cocktail called a Vanilla Old-Fashioned to dull my humiliation and disappointment when she didn’t come to the after-party. Then I staggered home unfashionably early, under the weight of too much alcohol and the heaviest gift bag ever.
PS: For some reason I thought the 50 Top Bloggers thing would be done and dusted last night, I’d even worked on my not-looking-sour-like-Jonah-Hill-did-when-he-didn’t-win-the-Academy-Award face for the announcement. But last night was just the beginning, apparently there are lots of Survivor-like challenges to come before the winner gets a Ford Challenger for a year and a trip to New York for a blogging convention. And this is where I need your help. Click on this link and vote for me, pretty please with sugar on top!