Who you gonna call?

For some unfathomable reason my mobile phone number is still on my ex-husband’s Optus account.

We separated in 2014 … I think it’s time our phones separated too.

That said, it took us a gazillion years to get divorced. Things move very slowly in our relationship.

I remember the day we got our matching mobile phones and phone numbers. It was in the early 2000s at a store in Hamilton, Newcastle. Back then you could choose adjacent numbers, so ours are identical, save for one digit.

So romantic! So unforgettable!

There hasn’t been much urgency around separating my number out of his account. He just pays my bill and charges the amount back to me through our joint bank account.

Yep, we still have a joint bank account. It comes in handy for sorting out the kids endless medical bills and other expenses.

Getting my own account became a bigger priority when I went to Hawaii last year and discovered I couldn’t get push notifications and codes without global roaming.

My ex is about as technically savvy as me and couldn’t work out how to do it on my behalf.

So I had to build a whole Drinks Digest newsletter in the app on my phone rather than on my laptop, which was waaay too fiddly for my fat fingers.

I need to get push notifications and codes overseas for various other random reasons, so I want total control of my phone.

It turns out to be a very tricky thing to get a divorce for your mobile phones. We have to go to an Optus store together with 100 points of ID.

We don’t live or work near each other.

Fortunately we speak to each other.

What do people do who hate each other’s guts and can’t be in the same room at the same time?

Who knows?

I am predicting it will take us months to coordinate a joint Optus visit, so I’ve hassled my ex into working out how to switch my global roaming on.

He’s resisting doing it now because he doesn’t want me to accidentally global roam when I don’t mean to … or something like that.

But he’s promised to switch it on when I need it.

Song of the day: Blondie “Hanging on the telephone”