The bride

I spent yesterday sorting through the last few boxes of jumbled momentoes and bills from my downsize.

My ex turned up a few hours into the task and I apologised for the mess strewn across the living room.

He was dropped the eldest off after theit visit to the Archibald Prize exhibition.

When he left and the eldest retired to his bedroom the apartment felt a bit too quiet, so I flicked through my CD collection and chose Karma County’s Olana to keep me company.

I realised after pressing play for the second spin – it’s a bloody awesome album – that it was an odd choice for me to make while sorting through my past.

Many of the songs on the album were played live at my wedding by Karma County, who we’d booked for the occasion. I walked down the aisle to the eponymous song Olana because it sounded a lot like Alana.

Olana when I find thee
I’ll hold you
So close, so close to me
I wonder when will I see
The high plains
Where calm reigns
So far from me

Well somehow I’ll know
‘cause my love tells me so
She tells me I’m free
Olana when I see you

Olana, vision on high
Do I get my peace
In this world
Or in the sky
Are you just heavenly pie

Well somehow I’ll know
‘cause my love tells me so
She tells me I’m free
Olana when I see you

Oh to be heavenly pie.

I was 32 and decidedly down to earth when I got married. Probably too down to earth.

I’d been with my ex for almost 10 years and thought I was past the fuss of weddings. But watching all our friends tie the knot, have babies and be fussed over made me feel a bit left out. I wanted something special to happen to me too.

But I decreed there would be no frothy wedding dress, no wedding cake, no wedding cars, no bridesmaids, no sit-down meal, no wedding video. I just wanted to be the main attraction at a big party.

My main extravagances that day were my wedding dress – the last made-to-measure bridal frock by Collette Dinnigan – a pair of Gucci shoes and Karma County.

My favourite food – nibbles – circulated the room, including little boxes of noodles and fish & chip. The sparkling wine flowed, live music filled the room, and it was generally agreed to be one of the bulkest fun weddings EVER.

I kiboshed a wedding night hotel too. We just headed home to our inner city apartment. But we made up for it the next day by flying to the Seychelles for our honeymoon and the start of our new life together. Which would have been much the same as our old life together, except for one exciting development – I’d just scored a job editing Singapore CLEO.

Doesn’t that all sound dreamy?

Yup, until you fall out of love with each other a decade – and two children – later.

My heart ached just a little yesterday as the lead singer of Karma County crooned Olana. Not for my ex, there wasn’t even a flutter of regret that we weren’t together as we chatted happily to each other.

But we had some good times together and it is sad that things ended so badly.

Would I get married again? I don’t think so. Although I do like peering in the window of a bridal shop that’s around the corner from my new apartment. I didn’t do the traditional wedding dress thing at my nuptials, it must be an amazing feeling to have your princess moment in a gown worthy of the Oscars.

Mind you, I think I am far too old to be parading around in full length satin and taffeta at 55.

My romantic aspirations these days extend to fantasising about winning the lottery and buying side-by-side penthouses with an ocean view for myself and DD as our riding into the sunset moment.

In other news, the youngest arrived home from the state skipping championships in Canberra. It was snowing on the drive back!

She had barely rehearsed and has a quad injury, so it was a bit of a blow out – just a bronze for double unders.

After nationals in June she will retire and another era will end.

How was your weekend?

Song of the day: Brendan Gallagher “The lifesaver’s love song” (Karma County played this at our wedding too and it was MAGICAL)