Not what I expected

Last night was single mum hellish … with a side of corn chips …

I grabbed the eldest from rock climbing at 6pm, raced home, flung some sushi on plates for the kids and bolted out the door to a work function, promising I’d be home again within two hours.

I thought the work function was a drinks and nibbles thingie with one of our corporate partners.

It wasn’t.

It was a 500-course Mexican extravaganza at a glammy Paddington establishment called Tequila Mockingbird.

That would have been fabulous darling, no problemo, if my spouse was at home holding the fort. But he was on the other side of the city holding a different fort with his new missus.

Lordy I was packing it – discreetly, on the inside – when I saw the tables set up with cutlery and Christmas crackers.

Ah well … I asked the waitress to bring me the prettiest drink on the menu to soothe my frazzled nerves …

She came back with an EL FLAMENCO ROSADO – coconut infused Corralejo blanco tequila, Passoa passionfruit liquer, lychee and lime … sweet but quite luverly.

I was still feeling a little frazzled when I got to the lychees in the bottle of the glass, so I asked for a GENGIBRE Y ROMERO – Corralejo Reposado, Canton ginger liquer, yuzu juice, lime juice, rosemary, cracked pepper, salt & rosemary rim …

Even more delicious, though unfortunately I had to take the decorative rosemary stalk out for photographic purposes because it arrived a little limp.

While I was still feeling nervy about the the kids being at home alone, I decided two cocktails was probably ample despite their nom factor.

Thank heavens the food finally started coming out, including scrummy guacamole, some sort of ceviche salad and fabulous ceviche tacos that I decided deserved a glass of rose as a chaser.

I stopped taking photos at that point because I was freaking out too much about it being 9.30pm with no sign of mains hitting the table yet.

They arrived soon afterwards, praise be. I stuffed a few mouthfuls, I took a deep breath and announced I was going to be the first one to leave. So I can’t tell you what the desserts were like, but I imagine they were very tasty.

I skidded through the front door at 10.30pm to be greeted by two children that should have been in bed but weren’t.

They are going to be completely feral when I wake them up. And one of them needs to rally for Radiator Hospital tonight, which threatens to drag on until midnight.

In the meantime, I’m off to my work Christmas party at 12.30pm at The Fernery …

I have NO idea how this 50-year-old single mum is going to do it. She’s already cactus at 6.30am.

Hold me … and send Nurofen.

Song of the day: Donna Summer “Hot stuff”