I blew the lot

You know you’re out of touch when you have to Google the Honey Badger.

He was the special guest star at the launch of Iron Jack Full Strength Lager on Tuesday night at a fancy restaurant in Rosebery called The Blue Duck.

I was more excited by the location – a friend gave me the chef’s signature cookbook for my birthday and it looks totally delicious.

The Honey Badger – aka Nick Cummins – is a football player and the latest star of The Bachelor. I see …

But I said I couldn’t make it because I had parent teacher night at the eldest’s high school.

I put a rat up my ex for forgetting parent teacher night was on and raised an eyebrow when he said he’d accidentally double booked himself and had theatre tickets, so would have to leave early.

Mate, get your act together!

But it turns out I’m the one who needs to get their act together – parent teacher night is NEXT week.


Cue crawly apology text to the ex.

But it was too late to get to the beer bash.

That was probably a blessing because I spent the night tidying the house like a mad woman. Remember how my local friends gave me 14 hours of house cleaning for my 50th? Well, yesterday was The Day and I blew the whole 14 hours on a massive spit and polish.

Geez it was exhausting getting the place ready to clean. Kind of ironic really and not in the Alanis way.

But it was looking very spick when I headed to work on Wednesday morning. At least I thought it did … more about that later in the blog post …

Speaking of double bookings, I got a text message telling me the kids had dental appointments yesterday arvo. I hadn’t made any dental appointments, so I was a bit freaked out. It turns out my ex had organised them, not told me and accidentally got the month wrong – he meant to book school holiday visits.

The eldest already had another medical appointment scheduled for after school yesterday. So I decided to get a clean and fluouride treatment in their place with the youngest.

When I arrived at the NIB dental centre, the woman on the front desk totally went me for being late, which I thought was a bit of an over-reaction when, by my calculations, I was only three minutes off.

Turns out my ex was supposed to be there 20 minutes earlier for an appointment too. He reckoned he cancelled it. Whatever, it’s been one of those weeks.

Dr Dove, our dentist, was a total sweetheart. She even looked like a dove, all blonde and smiley and serene.

Then the youngest and I ducked across to Lowe’s for some new school shirts. Living the suburban dream.

Except I thought Lowe’s was meant to be cheap – it cost me 60 freaking bucks for two shirts. Yowser!

Yowser is probably something I shouldn’t be saying. A friend posted a list on Facebook of phrases her kids have banned her from saying. They’ve written them out and stuck them on the fridge …

Anyways, as for the house clean …. turns out 14 hours wasn’t enough to scrub my filthy little abode. The cleaners messaged me around 5pm saying they’d done their best, but there just wasn’t time to get to the windows and a few other things on the list.

Hooley dooley! There I go again …

I was a bit dark about it until I got home … and squealed with delight when I saw my bathroom – all the mould has been cleaned off the ceiling! Heaven!

It didn’t take long for the kids to start dropping food on the floor, but for a few minutes the place was almost sparkling.

Oh, how I’d love a cleaner to come every week … except all the tidying up beforehand would probably kill me.

Song of the day:  Michael Jackson “Don’t stop til you get enough”


2 thoughts on “I blew the lot

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  1. Ha Alana! Yowser would definitely make the list. The list is growing daily, a few more added after they read the Facebook comments from other parents.

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