Slipping through my fingers

I went to my last-ever primary school band spectacular last night.

Last. Ever.

I’ve been going to primary school band spectaculars for seven years.

It had an “Australia” theme, so they played iconic songs between the band performances. One dad thought he’d make the night just that little bit more memorable for the crowd – and the mortified child sitting beside him, pulling at his sleeve and begging him to sit down – by leaping to his feet and singing along to “You’re the Voice” at the top of his lungs with extravagant arm gestures.

It was the strangest feeling to sit there watching another parenting journey come to an end.

It’s a bit cruel the way childhood speeds up and races away from you. The days feel like sand trickling through my fingers.

Soon it will be over and I’ll wish I’d cherished those precious years more.

Elder statesmen annoy the crap out of you with their smug homilies when you’re battling in the trenches of early childhood – all  that “the days are long but the years are short” stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It feels like their childhood will be infinite, that there is always tomorrow to do or say or play or make or take or cuddle.

Then suddenly there isn’t. They no longer beg you to take them to the park so they can clamber on the play equipment with a little plastic animal clutched tightly in one fist.

Instead, they are buried in their phones and their friends and are no longer entirely yours.

I’m discovering that single parenting as they enter their teens has its own peculiar challenges.

When you are parenting together under the same roof you can discuss and analyse and work on solutions in unison. In two separate households you’re on your own, lying awake in the dark worrying.

You can send your co- parent texts, wondering how to approach certain issues, but it’s not quite the same.

And you don’t see your child every day, so there are little black holes of knowledge about them.

And it scares you.

I have the kids this weekend and I’m determined we won’t spend it lazing on the couch, eating pizza and watching tellie. As appealing as that is after a long, tiring week. But no, we are going to get out and do some stuff together.

Actually, you will not believe some of the stuff we are going to get out and do. I can’t quite believe I even suggested it, let alone bought the tickets.

I’ll fill you in on Monday.

Have a good weekend!

Song of the day: Kylie Minogue “Step back in time”


9 thoughts on “Slipping through my fingers

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  1. We are having all our primary school lasts here too and it is very scary. I remember a time when I thought I would never make it out of the trenches and now I am facing down high school and puberty with the twins.
    I am also in a little bit of shock that this time in 2yrs my big boy will be finished school all together! He is already doing a HSC subject and he is only in YR10 so I am struggling to get my head around that.

    We are trying to get out every Sunday and do something as a fam bam, to get all of our heads out of screens.

    Right now though I have my fingers crossed for the weather for the weekend, our big boy has just headed off on his Silver DoE 3day hike and my nephew (who has brain ca) is doing a Walk4BrainCancer in Bowral on Sunday.

    Have a good one!

    1. Getting heads out of screens is such a good idea. I’m going to try and do it more often. I keep dreaming of taking the kids somewhere without wifi for a holiday … and wondering how I’d cope without my device …

  2. I remember the last of primary and the last of secondary. My youngest two were in grade 12 at the same time so it was huge. I was glad to see the back of it but the first year afterwards I found myself grieving when I saw kids in uniforms shopping with their mother after school.

  3. I loved playing in in primary school band. Here in Sweden they don’t have bands in school but a seperate ‘culture school’ – a bit weird for me to get used to….

      1. Yep, it’s all after hours so to speak. They have music lessons in school but if you want to be in a choir or band/learn an instrument, then you need to go to the culture school…

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