I will judge you

The eldest and I watched “The Imitation Game” together the other night. I spotted it on sale for $9 when I was in the Kmart queue, so I grabbed it. I wasn’t expecting much given the price tag, but I remembered the eldest raving about it.

She happily sat down with me for a second viewing. I had no idea what the movie was about. Going by the title, I suspected it was about someone pretending to be someone else, which was kind of true.

It was a true story about a bloke who invented an early version of a computer during the Second World War and used it to crack German codes to help the Brits thwart attacks. I was pretty satisfied by that being the whole premise of the movie, but then it stung me in the tail at the end by having him prosecuted for being homosexual and ordered to undergo chemical castration and committing suicide 12 months later.

I was devastated.

It reminded me of the tears I shed over the way the black women were treated in “Hidden Figures”.

I will never understand the inhumanity of humanity.

I don’t judge people on their colour or their gender or their religion or their age or their nationality or their sexuality. None of those things matter to me.

What does matter is that you’re a kind, decent person.

If you prove not to be, I will judge you.

Oh, I have my poorly behaved moments. I am a grumpy old cow sometimes. And I don’t suffer fools gladly.

But I try to never be intentionally nasty.

And I don’t understand it when people are cruel.

I tend to edge around humans – they make me nervous. It’s why I shut myself down for so many years. I installed the hurricane shutters around my heart to weather the storms of life.

I’ve pulled most of them off now, but that niggle of fear remains where people are concerned. It says “I don’t entirely trust you, you might hurt me.”

I’m almost startled by kindness when it occurs and second guess it.

I remember being invited to a Sunday roast by a lovely couple many years ago. When I arrive to find myself and my husband were the only guests I wondered why us? Did the other guests drop out? 

The other guests hadn’t dropped out. Maybe the couple simply liked us and wanted to cook us a meal.

Movies such as “The Imitation Game” and websites such as news.com.au filled with their daily litany of horror don’t improve my suspicious attitude to people.

But I can’t change the world, I can only focus on mine. So, even if I have another nasty headache tomorrow and get asked an annoying question that makes it throb, I will take a deep breath and smile and be as kind as possible.

Song of the day: Otis Redding “Try a little tenderness”




5 thoughts on “I will judge you

Add yours

  1. Yes that movie bit me in the bum too, well the heart actually, just like all this shitting and tooing and froing about changing a couple of words about marriage. I don’t believe I will be able to vote again until it is sorted.

  2. Yes it was a shocking movie and has played on my mind since watching it. Unbelievable what some are forced to endure.

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