Rediscovering joy

The 10-year-old sent me a message yesterday letting me know she was home safely from school.

I asked whether she’d had a good day and she replied: “Awesome day we watched mr bean in the afternoon.”

I love that a kid can describe a day at school as “awesome.” I think there’s something to be said for rediscovering the carefree joy you feel when you’re 10.

My daughter constantly dazzles me – and her dad – with her positive attitude to just about everything.

So I was pretty gutted on Thursday night when something I did reduced her to tears. She went to her bedroom to cry it out and I crashed around in the kitchen while we both calmed down.

Then I went into her room and gave her a cuddle and apologised. Bless her, she forgave me on the spot. The next morning she appeared with the chocolate from her advent calendar and asked if I ‘d like it.

I refused, of course. It should have been me giving HER a peace offering.

I wonder if she’ll find it so easy to forgive when the hormones kick in. Part of me wishes she’d stay sunny 10 for ever. (The other part can’t wait to have a laugh with her as a grown-up, she’s going to be a cack.)

I also marvel at my own moments of feeling sunny 10. I’ve been enjoying quite a few over the past year or two. Sure, there are moments of feeling cloudy 100, but the sunny 10 stuff is a revelation.

I wrote a blog once about wishing there was a happy pill you could take that showed you what “happiness” felt like so you could tell if you were or not.

In retrospect it’s pretty obvious I wasn’t.

Now I often feel high on life and it’s glorious.

I suspect it’s made me a more engaged parent, too.

In the past, I put on a “happy face” and hoped the positive feelings would follow.

Admittedly, sometimes that’s still the case, but I’m often a humming whirlwind of positive energy these days.

I told friends last night that one of they keys was becoming a “yes” person. Previously I immediately said “no” to new experiences because of fear, exhaustion, laziness … something.

Now I give it a go. And it’s slowly restoring my confidence.

The mojo is a bit wobbly, like a foal learning to walk, but it’s on its way back.

And it’s lovely.

Song of the day: James Brown “I feel good”