Happy single Mother’s Day

Some women don’t give a bugger about Mother’s Day, it passes like any other Sunday.

It’s big in our family. Not as an excuse to shower the matriarchs with expensive gifts, but as a reason to get together.

My mum is crook as Rookwood this weekend and my dad is two days out of a cataract operation, but they stubbornly made the trek from Newcastle to Sydney to celebrate.

When I admonished my mum for coming down when she’s so sick she said she wouldn’t miss it for the world.

They’d been hoping to watch my eldest daughter perform in a school band concert last night too, but she’s crook as Rookwood as well. She didn’t want to let anyone down, so she got dressed in her uniform and climbed into the car to collect her Nonna and Pop, then let it slip how much her eyes were aching.

I gave her one last chance to bail, she burst into tears and took it. She hates letting people down – it took me a while to reassure her she wasn’t. Then I poured her a hot bath and fed her baked beans on toast on the sofa.

I’ve told her not to get too close her Pop at brekkie – my sister is making bacon and egg rolls and chocolate banana bread and I’ve been tasked with providing a fruit platter – because he’s not allowed to sneeze after his op.

When I went to kiss the youngest goodnight, she was laying out her special Mother’s Day outfit: a floral frock with a tulle underskirt, sandals with gold bows and pearls. She was agonising over what clip to wear in her hair.

Mummy melty heart moment.

Mother’s Day isn’t so big in my ex’s world. His efforts were patchy during the first few after we broke up – I paid for my own Mother’s Day gifts from the school stall.

But this year he’s been very thoughtful. He’s leaving the kids with me until lunch time, he paid for the Mother’s Day stall and dropped an extra gift over on Wednesday.

As time goes on, he becomes increasingly grateful for how well we’ve navigated this tricky thing called marriage separation.

And, while it’s the ultimate cliche, I’m grateful that we were married.

While our relationship ended horribly and left my life pretty tattered, it gave me my two lovely daughters.

My life isn’t tattered any longer. It’s not as comfortable as it once was, but it’s filled with happiness.

And its made me a better mum.

I’d become so disconnected from myself and life – his leaving was the shock that forced me to reboot.

Now, the kids and I grab our life together with both hands. Yesterday, the youngest researched dog friendly beaches and insisted we visit one.

It was beautiful and relaxed and fun.

I love being a mum.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the single mums out there.

It can be bloody hard sometimes. There’s never enough time or money.

Whenever something goes wrong and you’re alone, life can seem pretty unfair.

But, as A.A Milne once wrote: “You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.”

xoxo

Song of the day: Sister Sledge “We are family”

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