There will always be TMI

social-media-status

Someone was unsettled by me oversharing on the blog yesterday.

And it got me thinking.

They wrote on HouseGoesHome’s Facebook page: “I’m sorry you have medical issues and I don’t question your personal choice not to have a hysterectomy. I question why you’d share this news on FB.”

I don’t know this woman. My blog must have popped into her feed when another Facebook friend commented on it.

I get the feeling she wasn’t comfortable with someone’s womb being discussed so publicly.

I was fascinated rather than upset by her words. I’m so accustomed to blogging about the intricacies of my life that I don’t often stop and think about how confronting it might be to strangers.

I replied to her: “I write a personal blog Kathy and I’ve found so many things aren’t spoken about in life. I think it helps people in similar situations to know they’re not alone.”

The words tumbled off my fingers without me considering them too much, but a day later I’m still pretty happy with them.

Late last night another message popped up, this time from someone I do know: “There is way too much information here. I hope whatever procedure you have works well. It is quite something that you have shared your reasons with the world. I hope that your health comes before anything, including not having s*x for six weeks #TMI.”

Sigh.

I hadn’t realised sex was a word that needed a “*” …

No, women don’t usually talk about that sort of ‘private’ stuff on Facebook.

But it’s why I do.

All too often, Facebook is fairy floss – lots of smiley photos that don’t reflect what’s really going on.

I read recently that said the sign of a good relationship is that it’s not on Facebook … meaning the people who fill their feed with updates on their perfect lives are often the ones who are struggling.

My blog tries to tell it like it is: the good, the bad, the up, the down, the ugly, the beautiful, the happiness and the heartbreak …

I do keep some secrets. Usually to protect people I love.

You might find it hard to believe, but there’s a whole other part of my life that never makes it into print.

Sometimes I wish I could blog those bits too, because I reckon they might help others going through similiar good/bad stuff.

We keep so many things bottled up inside us.

We worry that there’s something “wrong” or “weird” about the way we’re feeling or acting.

But the more I open up, and the more people open up to me, I realise we’re all pretty much the same.

Only human.

Trying the best we can.

Screwing it up sometimes.

Searching for meaning.

Wanting to be loved.

Pretending everything’s OK when it’s not.

Wishing they could talk about it, but feeling too scared …

So I’m going to keep it real, open and honest at HouseGoesHome. If that bothers you, don’t click.

Song of the day: Fleetwood Mac “Little lies”

 

 

 

 

 

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21 thoughts on “There will always be TMI

  1. I have recently discovered your blog, like your posts and enjoy your honesty. I am looking forward to more detail about cutting off the blood supply to a fibroid. Hope it goes well.

  2. I get squeamish at the sight of (and even too much talk of) blood and guts and stuff so, yeah, I’ve found recent posts a bit icky. But more importantly, they’re informative posts and I’ve no doubt that people will find them helpful.

    I hope your procedure goes well and that recovery is quick so that you can drive and have all the s#x (😉)you want ASAP!

      • Keep it coming! I’m a big girl and, besides, I can skim those sections.

        As for the sex bit. Go you! Sex is a fun and healthy part of life ( if you’re lucky enough to be getting it!) and why shouldn’t you be able to mention it as such?

  3. Go you. I know exactly what you’re saying. I don’t know why people can be so prudish. If we let loose on the real home truths we’d probably be stoned to death. Sometimes I ask Scotto if I over share and he just tells me it’s my blog and everyone else can get stuffed. so Alana… it’s your blog and everyone else can get stuffed. x

  4. Social media is an interesting platform for sharing, however there is a certain time and place to divulge intimate details about your life; for example, your sex life. I truly do admire your passion to help others overcome their adversities but recently someone told me ‘to help others with their own problems, the key is not to reveal the details of yours, rather of how you overcame them’. Somehow when I read your previous blog I couldn’t help but think- do you truly consider your full audience when writing your daily blogs? Would you want your children, family, or even your partner’s family reading that you can’t bear 6 weeks without sex? This was just a thought, not intended as an attack or anything malicious of the sort. Please consider this next time you share.

    warm wishes whatever you decide to do regarding your surgery- as a woman it is your right to a choice x Jeanette

    • Thank you for commenting, Jeanette. After reading your words, I have spent a bit of time pondering whether it bothers me that those close to me might read the sex thing and, oddly, it doesn’t. I have no idea why not, because I’ve always been a shy flower. The extreme candor is a recent development. I think it would be far worse for me to be blogging racist or homophobic revelations about myself for them to read.

  5. Just ignore them, Alana. Your candour is refreshing and your honesty is such as I would only come to expect of a close friend. Keep on blogging the way you do.

  6. What Louise said! Oh and I have fibroids too..but mine are harmless/wouldn’t know they are there. You’ll hate this…but I am one of those people who every month is ‘surprised’ when my period arrives…as I have never had any PMT symptoms ever. Isn’t that weird. I am covered in cellulite from arse to knee though..and yet I exercise and eat healthy. I spend a lot of time obsessing over this. Cellulite is my Freddy.

    • Fibroids seem to be waaaaaay too common. Glad to hear yours aren’t an issue. I try not to think about cellulite – am more worried about the rapidly depleting collagen in my sagging cheeks.

  7. No don’t stop, you keep it real. Plus doesn’t it mean you’ve made it when you have comments like that. So congrats you’re famous!

  8. I didn’t realise that there were still so many prudish people around. This is all just biology. Maybe both of these people will one day be grateful that they’ve learned something because you’ve shared – I certainly am.

    • I was talking to some friends about it last night and they agreed they couldn’t understand all the fuss. I’m glad you’re getting something from my journey. Let me know if you want more info on how it’s all gone.

  9. I agree with the above people. In the past things were generally not spoken about. Occasionally between best friends (other women). Dare not speak about it to a man. Secret women’s business. Crazy. Women’s bodies are created to grow a baby, for the human race to survive. Why keep whatever happens to our bodies a secret? I know men that quiver when something is spoken about women bodies. Our bodies are okay for men to have sex, and to give birth but a lot of men do not want to know more.

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