Co-parenting is SUCH a weird beast

I just spent the night with my ex …

Not like THAT.

We watched the youngest’s end-of-year gymnastics performance together.

I bought him a chardy before the show. He bought me one at interval.

We chitter chatted between acts.

Despite the bad stuff that happened between us, we still give good chitter chatter. Possibly me more than him.

OK, definitely me more than him. I’m a yibber-yabber fountain. But he’s quite prolific on the natter front too.


Bizarre that we had nothing to say to each other towards the end of our relationship. During our occasional nights out, I’d sit there panicking about what the HELL I was going to say to him.

Now we blather amiably about family, the kids, work, my endless health issues …

It drives the kids nuts, actually, because they can never get a word in. But the eldest was at a sleepover last night, and the youngest was backstage, so we could go for broke.

Afterwards we each gave the youngest a hug and told her how proud we were and what a good job she’d done.


She goes to gymnastics on Mondays and Wednesdays – the days I don’t have her – so I had no idea she’d made so much progress.

Before the show she’d talked herself down, saying she was hopeless at dancing and wasn’t very good in the performance.


I have no idea how much of what she does is sheer determination and how much is talent, as I’m the most uncoordinated person on the planet.

But I’m deliriously proud of her either way.

Afterwards, I dropped the youngest and her dad off to his apartment on my way home. I gave her another hug, casually waved him goodbye.

I didn’t feel the slightest “if only” flutter.

I was happy to go home alone.

I’ll see the kids again tomorrow when my ex and I take the eldest to her school formal.

I’m so grateful we can do stuff like that together.

I think it would be very lonely to mark those milestones without the person who helped you create the gorgeous creature involved. It’s so much better – for everyone – to put that awful stuff to one side and focus on the love that brought you together.

Go us.

Are you co-parenting? How do you make it work? 

No song of the day … just a snippet of dodgy video from last night (wish I’d captured her quartet of cartwheels across the stage, will need to purchase the $30 official video of the night to admire that):







4 thoughts on “Co-parenting is SUCH a weird beast

  1. Had dinner with my ex for her birthday on Thursday night. Our son was there and 5 other good friends from before our married days. It was a lovely evening, and plenty of “chitter chatter”, starting with drinks at one of the friend’s house, followed by a stroll to the restaurant in Elwood.
    I’m grateful, too, that we all get along so well and that 30 year old friendships remain strong.
    The really weird part was listening to my nearly 25 year old son discussing the pros and cons of Cabernet Sauvignon from the Barossa with his uncle. THAT brings perspective to life pretty effectively! 😄🍷

  2. Wonderful to read Alana. It’s a happy world when crap turns sweet. Good on you for getting all the way through.

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