Do you ever have those moments when you think “I can’t adult today”?
I’ve been adulting most of my life. I wasn’t overly fond of being a kid or a teen.
I think it’s why I never went to university. I didn’t want to wait any longer – I wanted to get on with being a grown-up.
I was intent on having all those grown-up things: a long-term relationship, a house, a high-flying career.
I was hopeless at irresponsibility. Late nights, drugs and spontaneity just weren’t my thang.
Sensible was my middle name.
But every now and then I falter: all the responsibility that comes with being an adult feels a bit overwhelming.
Taking care of kids, dogs, bills, career, housework … wow it’s relentless.
Especially when you’re doing it as a single mum.
In more troubled times I’d think to myself: “I wish I could have a nervous breakdown.”
Ridiculous – no one WANTS a nervous breakdown. It was more that a nervous breakdown would be something out of my control and mean not having to be strong and responsible.
These (happier) days I’ll sometimes think: “I want to run away!!!!!”
Not forever, but a week would be nice.
And I know this sounds terrible but it would be a week without kids, dogs, work, cooking, cleaning or WiFi access.
A week to just BE.
You know … lie in bed as long as I like (rather than struggle out at 6am because I’ve dropped my mobile phone while checking the time and it’s set the dogs off barking) … spend the whole day doing as little as possible.
And repeat for seven days.
Preferably somewhere warm and peaceful.
I might go mad with boredom – ironically, I’m not very good at doing nothing – but it would be nice to give it a try.
PS Speaking of responsibility, here’s a pic of the puppies post haircuts/operations (and me $500 poorer) …
And let me just say it again: don’t get dogs if you’re a single parent or about to become one. I know it’s tempting to think “They’ll be company!” But they’ll really just be another thing you have to worry about. And you have enough to worry about already. Much as I love my fur babies.
Song of the day: Otis Redding “Sitting on the dock of the bay”