I have an imperfect life.
But, hey, who doesn’t?
There’s a lot I wish I could change. But the good outweighs the bad. That’s better than many people get.
It doesn’t mean I don’t agonise over my room-for-improvement stuff.
I agonise over everything.
Lately, I’ve been pondering my wants versus my needs.
Or, more accurately, just my needs. They’re much more important than me wanting a new car or a trip to Hawaii.
What ARE my needs?
I’m trying to distill them down to three things in each of my relationships.
For example, my relationship with my ex … what are my needs with him?
- Healthy, co-operative co-parenting. Tick!
- Pleasant interaction. Tick!
- Not feeling scared … hmmmm … Tick!
The third one sounds more ominous than it actually is … he was never scary in a physically intimidating way, but I was incredibly fearful of him by the time our relationship ended. He was always so dissatisfied and annoyed and ANGRY. I was constantly anxious about invoking his displeasure.
That really, really sucked.
I wish I could say forgiving him is my unofficial fourth “need”. You’re supposed to forgive, aren’t you?
Forgiveness is a step closer to God.
Unfortunately, I’m not very good at forgiveness. It’s not my strength.
I’m incredibly good at getting on with life. But forgiving is a much bigger kettle of fish that I’ve ended up thinking a lot of people don’t deserve.
I’m kinda like the bottom of a saucepan after you make popcorn, with a scattering of anger kernels lying unpopped in the oil. No matter how long to leave them on the heat they’re not going to explode … but they’re still there.
Are you good at forgiving?
Are your “needs” being met?
Song of the day: INXS “What you need”