… You drive the car to work in driving rain and park in a two-hour metre zone and feed the parking metre an exhorbitant pile of gold coins because you are worried about the puppy and want to check on him at lunchtime.
And so, you head back across the Harbour Bridge in driving rain at lunchtime. When you get there, you step on one of his cute little turds and proceed to walk it through the house before finally realising it’s smeared all over the toe of your sneaker. You have to get down on your knees and scrub your way through the house, which runs you a teensy bit over your allotted one-hour lunch break.
Then you drive back to the office and feed the parking metre another exhorbitant pile of gold coins until it’s time to go to your hair appointment at 6pm, which you don’t entirely enjoy because you’re worried about the puppy and want to check on him.
So that fancy hair-washing seat with heat pads and massage function, not to mention those diligent apprentice fingers attending to your scalp, are entirely wasted on you. You even skip the blow-dry and bolt off with a soggy head to drive across the Harbour Bridge for the fourth time that day … to be greeted by two very excited little furry boys who seem perfectly fine despite your outrageous absence.
But you still feel so guilty that you put a lead on one and cuddle the other to your chest and take them for a walk – and a carry – to assuage your guilt, despite it being 9pm at night and there being a half-drunk bottle of cider needing attention …
That’s when you know you’ve totally lost the plot.
Song of the day: It’s a replay but I’m obsessed … Pete Murray “Opportunity” (I had it on high rotation throughout the plot-lost day, and it just made me smile and smile and smile a bit more)