Sold a pup

After writing about my top 10 blog posts of the year yesterday, I was tempted to call this one “Doggie style” … but that would be tacky … 

I’m a bit of a Scrooge when it comes to hotel accommodation. My GAWD it seems like a lot of money for a room for a night. Especially when you could have a nice handbag or something and use it for years instead.

It seems, however, that the same rules do not apply to my dog. The feral furball got the whizz-bang “Platinum Paw” package for HIS holiday.

You can talk me into just about anything on the phone. So when the chick from the kennel said the “Platinum Paw” package was very popular and I should book it, I meekly said yes.

I didn’t ask for price comparisons with other packages, I just swallowed hard when she said: “Great, well that will be $210 for three days!”

So, what did Charlie get for his $70 a day?

Here’s what the website has to say (since Charlie can’t talk) …

  • Daily full day interactive playtime with other doggy guests
  • An aromatherapy shampoo, condition and soft blow dry on departure
  • FREE Pet Shuttle pick up and drop off
  • Supervision by trained pet professionals
  • Spacious quarters with individual non-allergenic trampoline beds
  • Personal automatic fresh water drinkers.
  • 2 meals/day of premium dog food (special dietary requirements catered at no extra cost)
  • Access to veterinary care
  • Personal television
  • Access to fully secure indoor and outdoor play areas with climbing equipment

That’s right folks. He got an aromatherapy shampoo, a personal television and climbing equipment.

I’m surprised he wanted to come home*.

A lovely girl called Sabrina emailed me photos of him on his mini-break, including this one (note the play equipment in the background):


And he was given a “holiday report card” on departure. It has a magnet on the back, presumably so you can proudly show it off on the fridge.

OK, I’m going to stop being sarcastic about that now, since I’ll be putting mine on the fridge as soon as I finish writing this blog. But only because it’s hilarious (she weakly tries to convince you).

Charlie settled in “easily” (as opposed to “gradually” or “eventually”)

Staff thought he was “playful” (as opposed to “cuddly” or “naughty”)

At meal time he behaved “politely” (as opposed to “fussy” or “impatiently”)

And his energy level was described as “active” (as opposed to “sporty” or “relaxed”)

Not bad really, better than some of the kids’ report cards I’ve fielded.

His “best friend” was Daisy the West Highland Terrier.

His favourite activity was “cuddles!”

And the comments said: “Charlie is so cute and fluffy!! He is so good with the other dogs and loves the staff.”

Awwww, what a wonderful boy! Well, aside from the fact that at home he’s a little terror who has “accidents” on the carpet and barks hysterically if left alone for more than 30 seconds.

* He was VERY limp and sad when I went to collect him from the boondocks (apparently the lauded Platinum Paws delivery truck doesn’t operate on weekends) and just lay on DD’s lap in the car looking half dead the whole way home. DD suggested it was simply exhaustion but I KNOW he was guilt tripping me into thinking he was dying of a broken heart from cruel abandonment. Especially since the moment we got home he was back to his hysterical, mentally deranged self again. 

Song of the day: Florence & The Machine “Dog days are over” (it’s been the song of the day before but it’s sooooo good)


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