My week: all the big stuff … plus jail

This week was BIG: scary, fun, fabulous and infuriating … all at the same time. Talk about a rollercoaster of emotions. Actually, make that a tidal wave … by the end I felt like I’d been dumped, face-first, into the sand.

I did NOT cope well with settlement day on my new house. I was HYPER to the point of hysteria. My chest was tight. My eyes were wet (I got quite tremulous about doing it on my own as a single mum). I kept forgetting to breathe. It didn’t help that the bank screwed up and wrote a cheque to the vendor for $22,000 instead of $220,000. That little mix up set us back two hours. As the day drew to a close it looked like we might not get it across the line until next week.

But, right at the last minute, the call came through saying it was DONE. The universe’s response was to send green clouds, lightning and hail as I drove to the house for the first time as its official owner.

I sneaked over after school to check the garden out … there’s a vegie patch and the tomatoes were ripe on the vine, so we picked a few – the girls were jazzed …


Yesterday, I headed to jail for a Christmas visit with my mate Kathy. It’s pretty surreal sorting out playdates for your kids with their classmates so you can go to jail. Kinda tricky to explain.

Here’s a pic of the jail birds – me, Megz and Trace – sitting in the waiting room …


Once inside we feasted on Mars Bar Pods and potato chips and Coke Zero and laughed so long and loud that the prison guards gave us a warning to keep the noise down.

The day rolled relentlessly on until 11.30pm, when I finally made it home and guilted myself into going on a drag through the wet streets with my sister’s dog (which I’m sitting). My gawd he’s strong. I put the handle of his lead around my wrist so I could text and take photos at the same time (as you do) and I looked like a I was a B&D fan by the end of it. Ouch …


The recipient of the above photo remarked that Sooty looked like he’d been given a Doggie Brazilian, which made me giggle (and sound like a mad woman on the dark streets). I wasn’t giggling when I collected him from the groomer on Friday. Neither was my sister when I dropped him home. I stuffed up and failed to get him a “schnauzer” cut. He got a summer shave instead. Ooops.

As for the rest of the week, here’s my recap:


>> Monday recapped The Desolation of Smiggle: I drove 30 minutes to Manly Smiggle to collect a advent calendar I had on hold and the feckless Gen Y git behind the counter – who’d put one aside for me – said: “Oh, I am so sorry [He wasn’t sorry AT ALL]. It’s gone. It’s store policy that if a product is put on hold, but someone else comes into the store wanting it, we have to sell it to them.”

So THAT’S your “hold policy”, Smiggle? Well, it SUCKS.

I tweeted a link to the story to Smiggle. You’ll never guess what they did. They FAVOURITED it. And replied: “ We are so pleased that you managed to get a calendar! Your daughter’s face is priceless 🙂 Hope she likes it!”


>> On Tuesday I confessed I’d gone on a secret hotel stay.

>> On Wednesday I revealed the yummy details from my secret hotel stay in a blog called Spoilt Rotten.

>> On Thursday, I moaned about how bad I looked in all the selfies I took on my secret hotel stay and pondered plastic surgery in a blog called I Feel Soooooo Oooooooold.

>> On Friday, I toured all the homes I’ve bought and loved before as I waited – in a haze of melancholy – to take ownership of my new one.


>> And on Saturday I celebrated my sister’s birthday with a childhood gallery of us in matching outfits. View it here.

Over at I wrote all these stories …



>> Check out Aussie stars favourite Christmas destinations.

>> “Reconnected” with an old flame at Christmas drinks and fancy a hotel room for the night? There’s a new app for that … >>

>> You may never marry a prince or be consort to a queen, but you CAN holiday like royalty at one of their favourite hotels. Check them out here >>

>> Like to go hard without the hangover? Then these best “sober” raves from around the world are for you …

>> Take the holiday of a lifetime in Sydney in less time than toasting your lunchtime sarnie … >>


>> I was stunned to discover that THIS is Australia’s best hotel. (Above)

>> Click here to discover 2014’s most Instagrammed tourist destinations.

How was your week?

Song of the day: AC/DC “Jail break”




3 thoughts on “My week: all the big stuff … plus jail

  1. Just when I thought I could be no busier, there you go and trump me. House became unconditional and move is 18th. Packing and chucking and packing some more, oh and road works of fucking course. Glad you are ‘settled’

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