Being the car crash

This is going to sound TERRIBLE, but I’m worried I’ve become dull lately.

I was way more entertaining when I was ranting about the latest farking thing Husband had done or my crazy single exploits.

Now I just waft around smiling and telling people how happy I am.


I know it sounds a little implausible after my last wailing, ranty blog – I hate being a grown-up sometimes – but it’s true.

Thursday was a bit of a hormonal blip on my joy radar.

Yesterday, I woke up back in the bliss zone and went to lunch with my sister from another mister, The Sharpest Pencil‘s lovely Lana.


DD thought it was funny that Lana and “R-Lana” had lunch together.

(In-joke: I let him call me Alarna for a whole month before finally confessing “That’s not actually my name.” It’s a bit of a badge of honour among my forever friends to pronounce my name correctly. I’ve spent most of my life being misnamed Alarna or Alan-a or Alaina. It’s Ah-lan-ah. In my younger years, it used to annoy the bejesus out of me when people got it wrong. These days, I don’t really mind Alarna to be honest, it’s sort of softer … anyway, I digress …)

Lana and I worked together briefly and wonderfully at iVillage. I wrote about it in a blog called I’ve Found My Twin.


It was soooooo nice to catch up over yum cha in the pretty outdoor courtyard at Bodhi. We nibbled on delicious vegetarian dumplings and sipped flat Diet Pepsi (I HATE it when restaurants serve that vile syrup instead of proper bottles or cans) and nattered our heads off.

At the end of the meal, I asked the waitress to take a few snaps of us for the blog. Then we hugged and promised not to leave it so long next time.

Lana was thrilled that I was happy and didn’t mind me going on and on and on about it. I told her I was worried about being a bore and she assured me she’d much rather hear about the good stuff ad nauseum than the bad.

But I can’t stop thinking about a Snow Patrol song, “Headlights on Dark Roads”. The lyrics kick off like this …

For once I want to be the car crash
Not always just the traffic jam
Hit me hard enough to wake me
And lead me wild to your dark roads

Every time the song in my car, I yell at the stereo: “No you don’t!!!!!”

Why would anyone want to be the bloody car crash? I’m so freaking relieved to not be one for a change.

But there’s still that seductive traffic jam … everyone just lurves slowing down for a nice, long stickybeak at the mayhem.

Happiness isn’t quite so fascinating for bystanders. Is it???

Song of the day: Neil Finn “Distant Sun”

Bonus track: Snow Patrol “Headlights on Dark Roads” (starts at 1.15)





5 thoughts on “Being the car crash

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  1. I adore Yum-Cha! One of my favourite things that I don’t do often enough.

    Happiness is certainly not boring…it’s infectious! I’m very happy to be where I am right now, too and the stress of being unhappy is, I’ve finally realised, quite debilitating.

    I also tired of “putting on a happy face” every day when I was really feeling like crap and didn’t want to be there. I don’t think anyone really wants to be there, even if it’s good blog fodder!

    And, forever more you will be known as Ah-lan-ah! Didn’t Superman have all those hyphens in his first name…?

    1. Geoff you seem like such a happy, positive person, I hate to think of you in the doldrums. Yum cha is AWESOME but I really need to introduce you to the fried rice cake at New Shanghai. It’s transcendental.

  2. Oh! I thought you were Alarna. Thank you for clearing that up! Everyone calls me Pinky Pointer instead of Poinker which I find extremely annoying (even though it’s not my actual name). I read Lana’s blog. She seems like such a lovely person. I’d much rather read happy stuff about you just so you know 🙂

    1. Pinky Pointer is no fun at all. Pinky Poinker much jazzier. Lana is a sweetheart. And so very kind to me. Thank you for your support too, Pinky. I was telling Lana about you last week and how feel like we’ve become friends despite never having met.

  3. This made me laugh I have to admit…as I love your blog..but I do remember reading about the only one successful RSVP date and thinking “bugger, I was looking forward to lots of very funny, interesting date stories of tragic hopeless men Alana meets”. I’m sorry : )

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