Wonder drug

When you write a freaking blog every freaking day of your freaking life it can be a blessing and a curse.

Today it’s a curse. Yes, yes, I know, I could NOT blog and the world wouldn’t end but I’m addicted aren’t I? I get all OCD if I don’t do it.

And the problem is this: when I sit and decide what to blog, I think to myself “What’s on my mind today?”

And I basically feel obliged to go with whatever my mind serves up.

It might just be a tiny sliver of emotion the day before brought. And it can mean people think I’ve jumped the shark.

It doesn’t mean I’ve jumped the shark. It just means I’ve felt that emotion at some point and decided to go with it.

Yesterday’s emotion wasn’t great. And it was more than just a sliver. It bashed me around the head rather brutally. Fortunately, I know not to put too much stock in it because it’s driven by hormones rather than any bleakness of reality.

Yep, that time of the month again.

Except I’m introducing a wild card. On Monday I start popping progesterone.

I went to the doctor and told him I wanted to delay Armageddon so I didn’t do a Carrie at my party.

My doctor hadn’t seen Carrie, so it took a bit of explaining.

Then I fixed him with my best Puss In Boots eyes and said “pleeeeaaaaase”.

I thought my doctor was a bit odd when I first met him. I avoided seeing him unless it was an absolute emergency. But I’ve ended up thinking he’s really cool. Kinda autistic, but really cool. We have a laugh, my autistic doctor and I.

He’s been through a messy divorce too – I suspect – so we get where each other is at.

And, bless him, he agreed to give me the progesterone for the really crappy reason that I was having a housewarming and it would delay Armageddon.

I looked it up and the progesterone evangelists are pretty psyched about the stuff. They credit it with all sorts of cool things like …

helps use fat for energy
improves memory
is a natural antidepressant
is a great skin moisturizer
relieves anxiety
restores libido
reverses aging in the skin
promotes energy production
protects brain cells/brain function
Protects against insomnia, irritability

You can see why I’m so excited …

Keep your fingers crossed it lives up to its promise because GODDAMN I need it right now.

Well, not quite so much this morning. Because I slept! Long and hard! Hallelujah!

PS It’s been oddly comforting, as I wallow in a soup of hormonal self-pity, that I’m not wailing to the heavens “Husband doesn’t love me anymore waaaaaaaah!” Do you think that means I really have moved on?